Page 72 of Lourdes & the Mafia
Kane is… He’s a dick. There’s no other way to describe him. And yet the idea of being controlled by him in a safe space and setting? It feels like it’s something I need. I wonder if it’s fucked. I’ve been strung around by men my whole life, and now I’m looking for someone who hates me to do it.
But at least I get to decide this time.
At least I get to take my power back. If someone is going to control me, it’ll be on my terms, with my rules set in place. It’ll be power and revenge and release all meshed together in a perfect little setting.
“What rules would there be?”
“I want to talk to Lorenzo and Ramiel first.” His eyebrow raises, so I go on to explain. “You aren’t blind. You know there is something between Lorenzo and I, and Ramiel… I don’t know, but I’m not a cheater. I know Lorenzo and I aren’t—together—or anything. But, before we do anything, I want to talk to him and Ramiel. To… clear things up and see if this would be okay. I won’t be a wedge between brothers.”
He nods, and for a second it feels like there’s respect shining in his eyes. “Okay.”
“We would need a safe word, obviously.”
“A safe word.”
“Yeah, something that wouldn’t come up in a conversation normally in case either of us wants to stop at any time. Something like…” Coño, I’ve never had a safe word before.
“Lepver,”Kane says.
I don’t recognize the word. “What does that mean?”
“It is our native language. Demonic in origins. It means…” He pauses. “It means stop.”
“Oh, alright then. I don’t see why it can’t be that word then.Lepver.”
His pupils flare. “Very good.”
“Do you have any rules you want to add?”
“Do not touch me. At all.”
“Fine.” I’d hate to hurt him, so that makes sense as far as rules go. “Anything else?”
His nostrils flare. “If we do this, I will need someone in the room with us at all times.”
I blink. I… I never thought something private would be turned into a spectacle. “Why?”
“I cannot touch you, Lourdes. You’ve seen what happens. I do not know why that is, but if I restrain you, there is the possibility of you being injured in the process. I will try my utmost to avoid injury, yet we must be safe. If you fall, if you are hurt, I cannot touch you or heal you. If we do this, Lorenzo needs to be present to help you in the event that I cannot.”
My heart beats faster at the words. They’re surprisingly… caring. I didn’t think Kane capable, in a way. It just solidifies my decision in choosing him for this, knowing that he seems to be taking the rules as seriously as I am.
“Okay.”
“Yes?” he asks.
“Yeah.” I’m not sure how I’ll feel about having an audience, if this does happen between us. “These details will of course be taken to Lorenzo as well.”
“Of course.”
“Right. Anything else?”
“No drinking,” he commands. “If you are to make a decision and we are to play like this, you will need to be completely sober. I don’t want regrets, and I want you to be completely sure about what will happen.”
“Yes. The same goes for you.”
He nods his ascent. “What about you? Rules?”
I take a moment to think. “You can be a little rough with me, I suppose, but don’t be downright nasty. No jabs at my body or—”
