Page 158 of Vying Girls
My body caves at her surrender, any hesitancy quickly fleeing as I place both my hands on the headboard, fingers curling over the top as I keep her pressed there.
Our kiss is loud in the silence of a Hazelhurst midnight. I feel a breeze on my skin, her window open to allow in the fresh, moonlit night. It does nothing to calm the fever inside me, the kiss turning desperate, rough bites landing on lips, our tongues so deep in each other’s mouths it’s almost impossible to breathe.
Releasing one of my hands, I place it between her legs, massaging gently until she opens them with a gasp. The material of her pyjama bottoms are so thin, I can feel she’s not wearing underwear, the heat of her obvious against my shaking fingers.
Using the heel of my hand, I press into her, rubbing it up and down and around and around until her kisses become unfocussed, her breathing now the loudest thing in the room.
My pussy throbs painfully as I rub her, careful to keep pressure on her clit. It turns me on knowing just how much she enjoys this kind of fucking, content to allow this to be all that this is. I’m not sure how she’d react if I truly touched her, something we haven’t dared attempt.
She keeps my face within a millimetre of hers with a fist in my hair, panting against my lips as her hips start to move against my hand. Close as I am to her, maybe it’s easier for her not to see me.
Neither of us are kissing now. I close my eyes, increasing the speed of my hand and using the flats of my fingers for better control.
When her gasps start to hitch and grow shaky, I know she’s close. I almost don’t want to stop, scared of what will happen once this is over, and clarity comes rushing back in. If she kicks me out of her bed, I’m not sure I’ll cope.
She gives a hissing gasp, leaning her head back against the headboard. I open my eyes just in time to watch her mouth part, quiet, strangled groans falling from it as she comes apart under my fingers.
I keep on massaging her until she grasps my hand, her eyes still closed as she breathes harshly through her nose.
I press a quick kiss to her lips, knowing it’ll probably be the last one tonight, before removing my hand. It’s damp with her, burning from the friction of her cotton trousers.
Rolling her head to me, she opens her eyes. She regards me for a few heartbeats before asking huskily, ‘Is this your way of making up for the pepper spray? A thank you would have sufficed.’
‘Not that. Though I am super grateful.’
‘Then what?’
I shake my head with the exasperation of not being able to put into words all that I feel.
‘Nic—you’re looking out for the safety of someone youhate.’I draw in an uneven breath, finding it difficult to think with how turned on I am. ‘And regardless of the dumb, baseless reasons for that hate, I imagine that’s really fucking hard. I think of the people I hate—Callum, your dick cousin—not Tommy—and I just couldn’t help them like you are me.’
Nic frowns as she digests my words. ‘There’s some serious flawed logic there. I don’t even know where to begin.’
‘I just know you’re working on it. Deep down—deep, deep down probably—you know you’ve got some things wrong and you’re trying to make amends.’
Nic’s not frowning now but her expression isn’t exactly welcoming either. She studies me closely, her chest rising and falling in that slow, post-sex way. I shift slightly, banishing the gentle throb in my pussy.
Her eyes flicker, noticing the movement. ‘Don’t you want an apology?’
‘Of course,’ I say quietly. ‘But I know you can’t rush this stuff. I’m working on the same things, and I’m not quite ready to apologise to myself either.’
‘What apology do you owe yourself?’ she asks curiously. My heart jumps when she reaches out, almost mindlessly, to brush a bit of hair from my face.
‘Well, when your mum blames you, and your old best friend blames you, and Jack, who you thought was in prison but actually hanged himself, probably blames you, you kind of go through life thinking it was all your fault. And I suppose I’m just not ready to forgive myself yet. So…I’m working on the same things.’
‘That’s not even remotely the same,’ she replies, a harsh roughness to her voice. I think it’s more directed at herself than me though.
Sensing we’re about to enter the ‘two steps back’ phase, I plaster on a smile and reach out to ruffle her hair.
It has the intended effect. She frowns and dodges me like a petulant kid, the heavy moment broken.
‘All good here, Nic,’ I say lightly, slipping from the bed even when my whole body screams at me to stay. ‘I’ll let you get back to sleep anyways.’
A quiet huff is my only reply. I feel her eyes on me the entire way out the room.
It’s only in the dark of the corridor, alone, that the dissatisfaction in my own body returns. With a slight sense of guilt, I ask into my chat with Elly and Haz if they’re awake.
I am,Elly replies.In this huge bed alllllll alone :( :( :(
