Page 92 of Vying Girls
‘You look so good in this.’ I finger the collar of her white shirt, the sleeves pulled up to her elbows. Her hands around the ropes are veiny, adding to her masculinity. I eye them appreciatively, curling my own fingers around them as she begins swinging us.
‘Get everything sorted?’
‘Yep. Adulting done for the day. Can chill now.’
I wind my arms around her neck, holding tight against the g-force. ‘That’s hot. Competence is sexy.’
‘Dull more like.’
Well, kissing her isn’t dull. I feel dizzy as I close my eyes, the taste of her lips making me high as she pushes us harder.
‘I’m going to throw up,’ I laugh, burying my face in her neck. ‘My tummy’s going all funny.’
‘Something tells me you’re not the rollercoaster type.’
‘I am if I build up to it. Baby steps. Teacups first.’ I give her a nudge. ‘You know, like I’m doing with you and Elly.’
‘Elly’s a teacup, huh?’
‘Yep. And you’re the super high rollercoaster that’s terrifying but always worth it. Not that you’re terrifying. You’re actually adorable.’
I laugh when she only scowls.
‘And Nic? What fairground ride is she?’
I wrinkle my nose. ‘None.’
‘No? You two not sorting things out? Not back to being sisters?’
‘We were neversisters.Just two kids caught up in their parents’ shit.’ I avert my eyes, suddenly feeling guilty for Nic. Because we were more than just that. So, so much more.
‘She’d be the ghost ride,’ I finally say. ‘One that’s out of order.’
Haz grunts. ‘Pretty accurate. So, what have you been up to?’
‘Poking around.’
‘Yeah? Find anything interesting?’
‘You know I didn’t.’
She shrugs. ‘Nothing here.’
‘Bet there is in that attic.’
‘Isn’t. Apart from an old wasp’s nest. Maybe some spiders.’
I play with the ends of her hair. ‘Hm. In that case, you’ll just have to use your mouth.’
Haz pulls me closer. ‘Oh yeah, I’ll use my mouth.’
‘Totalk.We’re here now. I want to know you, Haz. Please trust me.’
She pulls away. ‘It’s not about trust.’
‘Then what’s it about?’ I gentle my voice, stroking the soft cotton of her shirt. ‘Why do you keep me at a distance?’
There’s another twinge of guilt, because she doesn’t know everything about me, does she? Sure, she knows about the Nic stuff, but not what happened when our parents broke up. Notwhythey broke up. But that’s different. That’s trauma, impossible to think about let alone talk about. Maybe it’s trauma for Haz, too. I mean, of course it is. They’re dead, and I know from Elly their deaths are something she blames herself for.
