Page 27 of The Cruel Highlander's Healer
What am I doin’ here? Why am I tryin’ to get to ken her?
The answer was an obvious one. Because he was interested in her. But that interest would go nowhere. He had just admitted as such. And was it not cruel to kiss her like he had the night before and then play this game alone with her in the middle of the night?
Especially when he knew it would never go farther. Never be anything more than just desire?
Suddenly, Conall no longer wanted to continue their game.
“It’s gettin’ late,” he grunted, pushing himself out of the chair. “I’ll be needin’ to get back to bed.”
Confusion and hurt flitted across Eliza’s face. He couldn’t blame her. Twice now he’d ended their encounters abruptly, just as some barrier between them seemed to be about to come down.
“The communication went out to Auld’s today,” Conall explained. “We’re still ridin’ out day after tomorrow. He’ll be expectin’ us.”
Eliza’s lips were parted in surprise. Before she could ask him what had happened or press him for any more information than what he was prepared to give, Conall turned.
“Laird MacKinnon,” she called after him, but he did not slow.
Marching back the way he came, Conall made his way through the shelves and through the creaky library door. The opened window of the library had done its job of cooling his overheated skin. But after the game with Eliza and the realizations that had come crashing over him, he was more worked up and flushed than he had been when he’d left his chambers.
That didn’t matter though. Not as he stalked the familiar halls and made his way back to his bed. It did not matter that that desire to get to know Eliza was still there. It did not matter that, as he stepped into his rooms a vision popped into his mind of what it would be like to lead her through the door and bed her.
No, what mattered had been the fact that he had spoken the truth. Everything that had happened with his parents had ruined him. He could not love a wife because he could not trust a wife.
His mother had made sure of that.
Conall had already sullied Eliza enough by pressing his lips to hers. He would not be making that same mistake again.
No matter how much he might want to.
“I will treat her the same as any of me servants,” he grunted, the sound of it filling the stiflingly still air of his bedchamber. “I willnae place me hands on her again.”
Something chittered in the tree outside his window, sounding a lot like laughter.
Even the animals think I’m a liar.
And it was on that thought that Conall tucked himself back into bed, readying himself for the restless remainder of the night.
CHAPTERTWELVE
“Climb up, lass. I told ye I willnae be waitin’ all day for ye."
Eliza stared up at the massive stallion. She was sure that it was the same one she and the Laird had ridden a few days prior. But she couldn’t be sure.
Either way, despite the beast’s impressive girth, she didn’t think it had enough room to seat them both.
“Will I nae be gettin’ me own horse?” she asked.
“Ye willnae,” the Laird grunted, his voice sounding much closer to her than it had a moment before.
Eliza whirled and found him standing only a few steps behind her. She jumped back in shock.
She had not heard him approach. There had been no telltale crunch of gravel as the Laird had crept in. And now he was closer than he had been to her in two whole days.
Having him this close to her had heat rising into her cheeks. Eliza had done her best to ignore him ever since that moment in the study. Their game in the library had been a fluke, an accidental run-in in the middle of the night.
Thankfully, the day before had been easier. She and Kate had been busy tending to the bairns. Some of them had started to wake, becoming more lucid and, therefore, requiring even more care.
She’d done a good job over the last day keeping her thoughts of him to a minimum. But now, visions danced in her mind.
