Page 30 of Captured By the Highland Devil
What was a pretty image going to help anyone? It had hardly kept her mind off the problems facing her at every turn. Why would no one tell her the full truth about the war? What did Ruben decide to do about them consummating the marriage?
The most worrying question?—
Why do I feel he doesnae hate me, that he only hates the situation? Worst of all, why do I want to feel this… heat for him?
“I shouldnae like him much less want to…” she winced. “…kiss him again.”
While his indifference grated, she reminded herself that he was a murderer and did not deserve anything from him. He’d told herhe like wonton women and to a man like McKinnon, he probably enjoyed such intimacies all the time.
His defense of her to the other men who had dismissed her did warm her heart—but it was probably for nothing. It did not mean he like her, or wanted her, or was a bit interested in her as the woman she was.
Even with that, she doubted he found her interests appealing. She played the harp and flute, could sew and spoke three languages.
“Latin is the language of business,” she muttered to herself. “It might help him if he decided to include me any trade deals he wants, especially with the crown.” Putting the sewing to the side, she drifted to a window. The young men were training but she did not see Ruben there.
“Maybe if I learned to fight, I’d have somethin’ to talk about over meals…” she muttered.
“Paige, dear, are ye in he—” her mother’s words broke off as she saw her lingering by the window. “Oh, good. I was wonderin’ if ye wanted to have a talk.”
“About what, Maither?”
“I saw ye earlier before I went to visit the healers,” Daisy said as she put a bottle on the table. “Ye looked dazed and worried, so I bought a dram of calmin’ draught. What happened, dear?”
Paige wished she did not have to admit this to her mother, but she had left her few friends behind.
“What is the matter with ye this eve, Paige?”
She hesitated; as close as she was with her mother, something about this felt too intimate to speak about with her mother.
“Nothin’ is the matter,” Paige said, trying to marshal a smile.
Her mother tutted. “I ken ye’re a married lady now but t’will do ye nay good to keep yer thoughts wonderin’ all the while. Ye have a husband and a house to cater to. Ye must pay keen attention to what will make ye a happy marriage. However will ye learn to please yer husband, if ye continue to disregard him?”
“Mama, please?—”
Her mother’s hand rose to adjust the simple caul she wore, as it was slipping over her graying flaxen hair. The skullcap was adorned by glimmering silk thread and lined with silk.
“One must work very hard to please one’s husband, Paige. Do ye nae recall the many lessons ye were given on runnin’ a house and home? I?—”
“I’d rather someone tell me why the war happened,” Paige stopped her, her tone sharp, “I’d rather the truth about it than dither about what I am doing or nae doing for me new husband.It is aggravatin’ and I—” she puffed out a breath. “—it is gratin’ on me.
“Do ye ken somethin’, Maither? Do ye ken the truth about what is going on?” Paige pressed.
Her mother’s face fell and her thin shoulders sank. “I am sorry, Paige, but I ken only what yer father told me. Ye ken I was nae a part of any of his business dealings.”
As much as she wanted to believe her mother, something deep inside her told it was not so. “If it is true what Faither said, that the McKinnons invaded us for nay reason, why would they welcome us so warmly?”
“Paige—”
“If on the other hand and we were the aggressor, provokin’ them to invade us, they would still nae welcome us,” Paige said. “There has to be somethin’ in the middle that I cannae figure. What is it?”
Daisy shook her head, “Dear, why is this botherin’ ye so much? The war ended five years ago.”
Her hands were fisted by her side as old grief soured her stomach. “Because it took Elijah from us. That’s why. Ye ken how much I considered him family; how much he deserved to be alive now and t-they robbed him of that right.”
Her mother looked pained, and Paige knew there was something she was keeping from her. “Maither, will ye tell me what ye ken? Please?”
“I am nae sure what ye mean, Paige,” her mother said.
