Page 20 of Don't Leave
The word rolls off my tongue before I can think about it. “Yes.”
“Look,” she says with a sigh, “I don’t have anything against you.” She takes a step closer until there’s no more than a foot to separate us. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” There’s a pause as emotion flickers across her expression. “But I need Cole. I’ve always needed him. I made a mistake and I hope he’ll give me a chance to fix it.”
“I won’t just let him go,” I whisper, my voice quivering.
She gives me a slight smile. “I wouldn’t expect you to. What you need to understand is that Cole and I have a lot of history. It might take time, but eventually he’s going to forgive me and take me back. We were each other’s first loves. You don’t just get over that.”
Something inside me shrivels. She might be right about that. What makes it worse is that Cole is the first guy I’ve ever loved. He’s the only one I’ve given myself to that matters. What hurts is that he might have been my first, but I’m not his.
This girl is.
For the first time in a while, it feels as if I can’t suck enough oxygen into my lungs. My chest tightens as I fight for breath. Squeezing my eyes shut, I concentrate on drawing thechilly night air into my lungs. When I’m finally able to gather my scattered thoughts, I realize Jackie has disappeared and I’m standing outside in the cold.
CHAPTER 7
CASSIDY
The last thing I want to do is head back inside the party with all its noise, music, and press of bodies but I have to find Cole. I need to reassure myself that he’s still mine. Jackie might have returned but she’s part of his past.
I have no idea how long I stood outside, talking with Jackie. I also don’t know how long it took to get the anxiety attempting to claw at me under control again. When I’d walked away from Cole, I’d told him I was going to the bathroom and then never returned. As I head inside, I pull my phone from the pocket of my blue scrubs. My heartrate settles as I realize I’ve missed two calls and three texts from him.
I hit redial and press the phone to my ear. After four rings, it goes to voicemail. Given the noise level, that’s not a total surprise. I shoot him a quick message to let him know I’m looking for him and set my ringer on vibrate so I don’t miss another call or text.
It takes time to push my way into the crowded living room where we’d been dancing. It feels as if the amount of people smashed inside the house has doubled. My nerves ratchet up as I scan the darkened room. Now that I’m alone, everyone withtheir costumes and painted faces has me feeling on edge. I stand on my tiptoes, hoping to see over the mass of writhing bodies but I’m not tall enough. My breath hitches and although I’m not claustrophobic, my chest tightens all over again.
I’d be overjoyed to spot Austin or Alex at this point. I need to find one familiar face in this crowd of strangers. Right now, there aren’t any. Every second that ticks by has me growing more agitated.
As I’m about turn away, I see a head of dark, artfully mussed hair and I know it’s Cole. Everything in me loosens as I shove my way toward him. He’s standing at the bottom of the staircase that leads to the second floor.
Even though I know it’s a long shot, I cup my hands around my mouth and shout his name. I’m disappointed but not surprised when he doesn’t turn around.
If Jackie thinks she can waltz in here and steal him, she’s wrong. I know how much Cole loves me and it won’t take her long to figure it out either. For the first time since stepping outside with Jackie, I feel as if the pit sitting at the bottom of my belly has dissolved.
Once I’m close enough, I open my mouth to yell his name for a second time.
Wait a minute…what’s he doing?
Why is he heading up the staircase?
That’s when I realize he isn’t alone.
Everything inside me stills as Jackie trails behind him before disappearing up to the second floor. Even after they vanish from sight, I can only stare as all the insecurities Jackie breathed life into a handful of minutes ago flood through me, threatening to suck me under.
And then I do the only thing I can.
I fight for breath.
“Cassidy?”
I flinch when a gentle hand settles on my shoulder before spinning around. Even though I’ve spent almost a year working on my issues in therapy, it still bothers me to be touched by a stranger or even startled by someone I know.
With my hands balled at my sides, I stare into familiar blue-green depths. His gaze narrows before sliding over me, lingering on my tightened hands.
“Are you okay?”
I shake of my head.
“Too many people?” A crush of costumed students surrounds us, pushing in from all sides.
