Page 38 of Don't Leave
And really, what am I supposed to tell him?
That his mother is my shrink and knows all my dirty little secrets?
I almost blanche, remembering that I told his mother the last time I saw her that I was sexually attracted to someone other than her son.
Kill me now.
Just pull the freaking trigger and get it over with.
Throughout the rest of the meal, I fidget nervously, waiting for her to out me.
Oh god, she knows I’ve been having sex with her son because I told her.
I want to bash my forehead against the dining room table until I knock myself out.
She also knows we’ve been using condoms and that I’m looking to go on the pill.
A fresh wave of humiliation crashes over me.
Unable to sit still for another second, I shoot out of my seat. The conversation screeches to an abrupt halt as three startled gazes settle on me.
It takes effort to pull my lips into an anemic looking smile. “I, ah, need to use the bathroom.”
“It’s through the kitchen and to the right,” Thomas directs.
I force myself to take deep, calming breaths before releasing them back into the atmosphere.
A mirthless laugh gurgles up inside because here I am, using Dr. Thompson’s breathing techniques in her own house.
It’s just too much.
Finding the room, I lock the door and rush to the sink before running the tap and splashing a handful of cold water onto my face. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut all the while continuing to inhale and exhale.
This is crazy.
And when I saycrazywhat I really mean istotally fucked up.
How can I possibly continue seeing Cole when his mother knows every ugly detail about my life? She knows how I fell apart under the pressure and strain during my freshman year. I swallow thickly as the next thought pops into my head.
How I used sex as an escape…
Guilt and shame crash over me , threatening to drag me to the bottom of the ocean. There’s no way in hell I’ll ever be good enough for Cole. And she knows it.
I’m the girl who failed out of school. Got kicked off the hockey team. Threw away all her hopes and dreams—everything she spent her entire life working toward.
My own family didn’t want to deal with me, so they shipped me off.
Who would want their son dating someone like that?
Umm…no one.
That’s who.
Cole is probably the most put-together person I’ve ever met. He knows exactly who he is and what direction he’s moving in. He deserves a girl who already has her shit together and maybe I’m getting there, but I’m not there yet.
I honestly don’t know how I’m going to gather enough courage to go back out there and face Dr. Thompson again. A light knock on the bathroom door has me freezing like a deer in headlights.
Please don’t let it be her.
