Page 8 of Don't Leave
“Everyone makes mistakes,” he murmurs. “None of us are perfect.”
“I know. It’s just…” My voice trails off before I admit, “It’s hard to live with.”
“Regret is always difficult to live with.”
We fall into silence as those words hang suspended in the air between us.
“Look, I understand you’re seeing Cole,” there’s a pause as he shifts on his chair as if uncomfortable, “but there’s something between us.” His gaze flickers away as he drags a hand over the back of his neck before skewering me once more with the intensity of his blue-gray depths. “Whatever this is, I’ve never felt anything like it before. It’s unnerving to feel so strongly about someone I barely know.”
I nod, feeling the same way. It’s where the confusion springs from. I’m unsure what to do with all these strange emotions that careen unwantedly through my body.
Before sitting down with Luke today, I’d been angry that he was trying to intrude upon my new life. I was afraid he’d tell Cole all the ugly details he had firsthand knowledge of. I was embarrassed and ashamed that he’d witnessed me at my absolute worst. He’d seen me naked and wasted, being held down by three drunken guys. A thick shudder slides through me as that night rears its ugly head in my memories.
Like a kaleidoscope, my perspective has shifted, morphing into something different. Even though it doesn’t make sense and I’m not entirely comfortable with the realization, Luke feels like the opposite end of a magnet I find myself drawn to.
There is a string binding us and I have no idea how to cut it.
Gaze locked on mine, he leans forward, attempting to close the distance between us. “I feel like we’re meant to be in each other’s lives.” With a shake of his head, he plows his fingers through his hair as if he’s agitated by his own words. “For fucks sake,” he whispers, “that makes me sound like a stalker.”
I’m not going to lie, it kind of does. Under normal circumstances, I’d already be walking—no, make that running towards the nearest exit. Everything he’s just given voice to sounds much too intense.
I draw air into my lungs before holding it captive for a few seconds and then releasing it as I try to wrangle my thoughts and make sense of them. “No, I feel it too.”
How is it possible for something to feel both right and wrong?
My heart constricts to the point of pain as Cole pops into my brain.
That’s all it takes for me to shoot to my feet. I need time and space to think about everything that’s happened with Luke. I have no idea how to define this new relationship that has sprung up out of nowhere.
His eyes widen as he rises. There’s a strange intensity marring his expression. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of that. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
I glance away. “I’m not sure what you want from me and that makes me nervous.”
Whatever is unfolding between us, it needs to be straightforward. There can’t be any room for ambiguity. Luke needs to understand that we will never be anything more than friends.
He takes a hesitant step toward me. Instead of retreating, I stiffen my shoulders and hold my ground. Perhaps that’s a mistake. When I refuse to retreat, he takes another careful step until he’s invading my personal space.
“I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give. For now, maybe that’s just friendship. Later on, it could be something more. All I know is that I need to be part of your life.”
“I love Cole,” I whisper.
His eyes darken. “I know.” His hands drift across my cheeks before tipping my face upward. “I can be your friend. If that’s what you want—what you need—then that’s all we’ll be.”
A thick lump settles in the middle of my throat as his quiet words wash over me. Their meaning feels immense and I’m unsure what to do with them.
“But you want more,” I press.
He hesitates before admitting, “Yes.”
My tongue darts out to moisten my lips. “I can only offer friendship.”
“Then I’ll be content with that.”
The way his gaze softens, becoming almost tender, sets off alarm bells inside my head. “I really do love him.”
Cole is everything I never thought I’d find, and I refuse to throw that away.
Even though I don’t understand the bond that has been forged with Luke over the course of an hour, I also realize I can’t walk away from it.
