Page 99 of Don't Leave
Is it possible that I let the best guy I’ve ever known slip through my fingers?
My flight response kicks in, telling me to flee before I embarrass myself any further.
As I retreat a step, he reaches out and takes hold of my hand. It’s the cool feel of his skin sliding over mine that jolts me into remembering how I’d placed my hand over Luke’s in the same manner, wanting to let him down as gently as possible.
My gut twists with nerves until it feels like I might throw up.
“Cassidy…”
Oh god, this is bad.
Only now do I realize that he doesn’t feel the same way. He’s moved on while I’m still in love with him. He must think I’m so pathetic.
Is there anything worse than giving your heart to someone who no longer wants it?
“I’m sorry,” I gasp on a strangled breath. Unable to stay here, I stumble back another step. I need to get out of here. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
Before I can formulate an exit strategy, he grabs my arm and pulls me toward him. For a fraction of a moment, my mind tumbles back to the night we met. Only this time, my body doesn’t seize up the same way it did in August, because I know Cole would never do anything to hurt me.
“Cassidy, wait! Just give me a second to catch up.” The patient smile that plays around the corners of his lips only intensifies the growing ache in my heart.
Instead of running away, I straighten my shoulders and force out the rest through stiff lips. Maybe it is too late for us, but I want him to know exactly how I feel.
I’ve come too far not to finish it.
“I love you and I’m sorry if I made you feel like I wanted someone else more than I wanted you. I don’t. I couldn’t possibly. You were right about my feelings getting tangled up for Luke because of what happened. You’re the only guy I’ve ever wanted, and I really hate myself for screwing up our relationship.”
There.
Done.
Just as I open my mouth to plead my case and tell him why I deserve a second chance, he yanks me to him. My eyes widen as his lips crash onto mine.
And then I’m lost in the taste and feel of him.
Just like I always am.
It’s been so long, and I’ve missed him—and this—so much.
He draws away enough to whisper, “Haven’t you realized yet that I’m still in love with you?” His lips stroke over mine before he murmurs, “It was taking everything I had inside to keep my distance.”
My head spins. I’d really thought I lost him. That I squandered the possibility of an us.
“I’m so sorry for pushing you away,” I whisper.
He nods as uncertainty flickers in his eyes. “Are you absolutely certain about your feelings for Luke?” There’s a pause as his voice dips. “I can’t go through that again, Cassidy. I love you but I need to know there’s nothing going on between the two of you.”
“I’m positive. We’re nothing more than friends.” My teeth sink into my lower lip as a thought occurs to me. “Are you all right with that?”
As much as I like Luke and as connected as I feel to him, I realize that it’s nothing compared to my feelings for Cole. I love him more than anything. The enormity of those feelings is so much deeper than what I could possibly feel for Luke. There’s no way to repay him for what he did for me.
But it can’t be with my heart.
Not when it belongs to someone else.
“As long as I’m the one you want, the one you love, then I trust you.”
My fingers curl into the collar of his warmup jacket before tugging him closer so that my arms can wind around his neck. I’ve missed the feel of him so much.
