Page 140 of Nemesync
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ELIJAH
Darkness has always been a crucial element in my life.
It’s the void of color, the absence of light, so empty but so full that every sensation is heightened. Right now, I find myself in utter darkness, but I still feel the light. My light takes the form of a woman with black hair and beautiful, amber eyes.
When you’re accustomed to darkness, seeing things so vividly, so clearly, colors so vibrant, it’s both powerful and strange, almost magical.
When she told me that I was her light, I wanted to explain how dark my mind really was. If I were truly full of light, why would everyone leave me?
She healed every scar just with the softness of her lips. A smile graced my lips, remembering the feeling of having her perched on top of me, trying to make me feel seen, reallyseen.
MyLittle Nightmaregifted me heaven while I was still awake. She offered me her soul to own and protect, to stain with my cruelty and darkness, yet made it look beautiful.
She was always with me, even when she didn’t know it.
My constant since I lost myself.
Sometimes, when I look at my reflection in her eyes, I realize there’s still so much about me that I don’t know but that she manages to see—an Elijah I haven’t met yet.
I’ve always found comfort and stimulation in darkness, it’s a habit of calm and solitude. But with her, light takes on a whole new meaning. And if she represents light, then light is what I prefer.
My brokenness felt less alone with her. I don’t know what kind of fucked up witchcraft it is, but my pain was hers too. And hers was mine.
I hold her tighter, feeling her hair down my chin, I notice her furrowed brows, as if she’s still battling a nightmare.
That’s when I remember her fight against her own darkness. I want to bring her light too, and if I can’t do it alone, I’ll be her mirror, so she can see by herself her own brightness.
My eyes were closing, and then I heard my phone vibrate, a text from Nikolai. I slipped out of the bed, carefully. Making my way to the living room, I found him lounging on the couch, a mischievous smile on his lips.
I sighed, fully aware that my friend had a penchant for irritating the shit out of me so easily.
“Killing a man in the middle of an event. Classic you,” he said, chuckling.
I shot him a glare, and sat beside him. “You make it sound like a hobby.”
He leaned back, a teasing smile playing on his lips, “For you, it might be. Also, now you’re with Little Z.”
I just offered a silent nod. I never really understood what ‘being with someone’ meant for normal people. It was so much more than just titles, something beyond reality itself, beyond normality.
He released a long sigh before adopting a more serious tone. “Can I be honest with you?”
“Since when do you have to ask Nikolai?” I replied with a smirk.
He laughed, shaking his head. “Fair point.” Leaning forward with his arms resting on his thighs, he fixed his gaze on me. “I can see it now. Your obsession, I can see it clearly, and it makes sense.”
My obsession made sense.
It’s been a while since I counted anything. I don’t care about that anymore. She was my anchor. Whenever the cold sweats began to surface, I would simply kiss her and remember that I wasn’t there anymore. That she was with me. Not just in my head.
This addiction was vital to me.Shewas vital to me.
I nodded to let him continue, I was way too curious to hear the perspective of the one person who had been by my side forever. “Little Z looks at you as if you’re the only soul in a room. And don’t even get me started on how you look at her.” He grinned. “I’m so fucking happy for you, brother. She deserves the world, and so do you.”
“Thank you.” That was all I could say.
Thank you for that, thank you for always being here and thank you for everything else.
