Page 243 of Nemesync
Elijah managed a half-smile, his eyes never leaving me.
“I was.”
Brian wore an expression of shock taking in the sight of Elijah’s appearance. “What did you do?” she asked.
“I did what needed to be done.”
Brian gulped as if understanding something, and Niko’s jaw tightened.
What happened?
“You’re a fighter, Zee,” Ben’s voice came through. He was smiling and checking my wound again.
“I didn’t drive you guys crazy enough,” I managed with a weak smile, my voice barely a whisper.
I hated lying to them.
How could I explain to the people who cared for me, who smiled because I was still alive, that I didn’t feel like it was a good thing I was still breathing?
In the eyes of the man I loved, I found forgiveness for thoughts he couldn’t even hear. I was weak, not just physically, but mentally too. All the guilt resurfaced facing my new family. I had a chance that was taken from my best friend just because of me.
I can’t with this pain.
I knew it.
I thought I may heal from this but every time I see light, a shadow comes back and hides it.
Nikolai took out his phone and dialed Miranda’s number. He handed the phone to me, and I mustered the strength to hold it to my ear.
“Zee, oh my god, are you okay?” Miranda’s sweet and soft voice traveled down the line.
“I’m alive, Miranda.”
I think.
“Thank the stars. Don’t you dare get shot again, or I’ll kill you myself. Hold on, June wants to talk to you.”
Little Juny’s voice, innocent and full of concern, reached my ears. “Zee, Mommy was crying a lot, but Uncle Niko said you’re okay now. I told her not to worry.”
I couldn’t help but smile, “Tell your mommy I’m okay, June. I love you, baby.”
“I will! Love you too, Zee!”
I handed the phone back to Nikolai, my heart warmed by the love of this little boy.
So much innocence and purity.
What would my life look like if I had grown up loved and protected like him? Would my soul dance in the sunlight, rather than drowning in darkness?
The ghost of that question haunted my heart, whispering that I was destined to be broken and shattered.
Elijah’s hand never left mine, I didn’t even complain because I needed to feelhim, I needed him to save me from what was happening in my own mind.
But I didn’t want him to see it. I didn’t want him to see how ugly my soul was, how dark my mind was, how fucked up my whole existence was.
“I lost it when I saw you on the floor, Zanae,” he confessed, in a gentle murmur.
Vulnerability marked every line of his beautiful face.
