Page 244 of Nemesync
I reached out and intertwined my fingers with his. “I’m sorry.”
He pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. “I would’ve torn the world apart if I lost you.”
I felt like the worst human ever to put him through that. I loved him, I loved him to the point where I survived for him, but I was tired, sotired.
I wanted to die, I wanted to end it.
I knew it, I felt it.
I smiled weakly at the man who owned my heart forever. “I know you would, that’s why you’re my Elijah. You have my heart, my soul, everything’s yours. I wasn’t scared of death; I was scared of not being with you on the other side.”
Thinking about that possibility, I understood that my own spirit was his now. I was most thankful to have the chance to experience this kind of love in my life.
It felt unreal, consuming every part of my being, felt in every possible cell of my organism, in every unconscious thought.
But I knew I wasn’t meant to have it forever.
People like me, broken and shattered, don’t get that kind of luck. We don’t get happy endings because our beginnings were anything but. We don’t get to marry the ones we love or have children of our own. People like me never truly heal because healing requireslife, and life was never on my side.
People like me are fucking damned. And it hurts to finally accept it.
What went down tonight drained me.
Despair poisoned every drop of blood inside me.
A hollow echo of sorrows and lost dreams trapped me inside my own head. I relived my rape, the death of my best friend, and the disappointment I was to my own mother, whom I never knew existed.
But he was always here with me.
He loved me.
I was dirty, miserable,insane.
And he didn’t want to leave me.
Everyone left me,buthe stayed.
Even when I felt like drowning, he would breathe life back into my lungs with just a kiss.
It’s that feeling when your heart races with anxiety and stress, and it only settles when you take a deep breath.
Elijah was my deep breath.
He leaned closer to me. “I already told you, even death couldn’t keep you away from me,Milaya. I mean it.”
It’s true, even death couldn’t keep us apart.
He exists in every part of my subconscious, in the very essence of my mind, in the depths of my morality.
Brian, Nikolai, and Ben exited, leaving us alone in this room.
Elijah remained seated by my bedside. I looked up at him, feeling sadness—for being so weak when I had someone like him to live for. A man who regarded my existence with a devotion so profound, it’s as if my lifeblood coursed through his veins, as if I beat in his own heart. But I was venomous, and I didn’t want to be his illness.
“Why do you always save me?” I asked.
“Because that’s my job,” he replied honestly.
“Why?”
