Page 247 of Nemesync
I looked away, stating firmly, “I’m the lucky one.”
A smile appeared on his lips. “You love her.”
My gaze met his. “I do. And I can’t let these bastards and her mother play with her life like that.”
His hand found its way to my shoulder and squeezed it. “We got those folders and data from Lukas’s office. Might hold some answers.”
The sky was the only thing I saw that reminded me of her tonight.
“Her mother, she’s going to fucking suffer for that.”
“I know you will make her suffer enough for an entire lifetime in hell.”
I opened the car with our bags of food, and Nikolai commented, “You looked like a monster back there, you know? I’ve never seen you that worried.”
“She shouldn’t have had to go through that. I should’ve been faster.”
He closed the door, putting his seatbelt on. “You saved her, Elijah, it’s not your fault. Stop this bullshit.”
I didn’t save her; I failed a long time ago, letting them take her and do what they did. I can’t stop thinking about what she had to go through those nights and in her life, about what Lukas told me.Fuck.
The car began its journey, passing through the city lights, Zanae’s playlist playing. Niko saw the song, understanding that it was hers and admitted, “I told you she’ll get under your skin; I could fucking see your souls tied up together before you even admitted it to yourself.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “These stupid songs. She loves them so much.”
Leaning in deeply on his seat, he said, “Oh, she loves you so much too, don’t worry.”
“Stop this.”
“Grumpy and overprotective, just how she likes you.”
With a voice low and filled with remorse, I replied, “She shouldn’t have to like anything. She should’ve been fucking safe.”
Niko laughed as if trying to reassure me that I hadn’t messed up by letting her get shot that night. “I’d say she’s in good hands, bloody hands but strong ones.”
I couldn’t shake this feeling; I know her, and I know when she’s hurt.
The thing is, she isn’t showing it, and I’m scared of what happened between her and Lukas during their confrontation. I think it made things resurface in her mind, things that I can’t even imagine. And Zanae is her own worst enemy.
“Something is going on in her mind Niko, she’s not the same.”
“I feel it too.”
Zanae
I didn’t have the need to eat for the past few days, even when I tried to eat, everything was tasteless. But I had to try in front of them again, even if I knew I wouldn’t appreciate it as much as I did before.
Niko arranged the food and gave me a smile before affectionately pinching my cheek. “Brian helped me with this. She has to leave now.”
“Yeah, I’ve got myself an overprotective crazy man now. He’s waiting for me to get back home.”
I let out a small laugh.
When I’m with them, the demons hide.
They are scared of the light they bring out in me, but I can’t always be with them, and the light isn’t with me every time.
Sometimes, I fear that it’s going to affect them — that they’ll scream in their heads too, or maybe they’ll convince themselvesthat I’m more dangerous to them than anything else. And I’m terrified of that. I don’t want them to hate me. I already hate myself enough.
