Page 259 of Nemesync
I’m hurt because I know what life is like with her, and I will never be ready to say goodbye to that.
“È troppo forte per lasciarla andare,” Niko states, his voice laced with hope and admiration.
“Lei è l’amore della mia vita, la mia anima, Niko.”
She’s not just the love of my life; she’s my damn soul.
Niko offers a bittersweet smile. “Zanae would’ve been so angry at this scene—us speaking Italian without her understanding it,” he murmurs before enveloping me in a hug. “She’s going to come back stronger, don’t worry, we’re going to teach her that she can fight this darkness, like we did.”
Holding onto her hand, it’s cold but so soft, it’s the only thing preserving my sanity. The rhythmic beeping of the monitors seemed to stabilize, and my heart hoped desperately for her to wake up.
“Why would you leave me, baby?” I whispered, kissing her hand, until I couldn’t feel my lips anymore.
I needed her to choose me, to choose us, for the first time in my life, to win against death because she loved me enough.
I needed her to love me more than peace.
“Please don’t turn your back on me, You’re all I have left,” I breathed, a tear fell down her eyelid as I kissed her forehead, begging her to survive.
Fuck, I was crying, dying even.
10.
Open your eyes; myLittle Nightmare. Open your eyes.
Blood. Death. Lifeless body.
Nikolai ran to find Ben and help me get rid of everything.
What do I have to do?
I’m so tired.
My father is lying in a pool of blood. But I don’t care, I just want to hug him one last time. The cold, sticky blood fills the ground.
His face is frozen, and that big hole on his forehead is horrible. Is he dead? And why is my mother naked and full of bruises in this picture? I think she’s dead too.
I waited, and waited. But I was way too tired.
I just need some sleep, just a few minutes. Just a little bit more time with them. With my parents.
I laid on the ground, taking my daddy’s hand in mine. Oh, it’s so cold. I took my mother’s picture and approached it next to my heart. “It’s okay mom, I’m here, Papochka is here.”
The smell is horrible here, metal and death.
The blood is seeping into my clothes, but at least I can press my face against his chest, even if the blood on his shirt is staining my cheek.
I think I look dead too.
There’s so much red. It’s all over my hands. I hold the picture close to my face, even though it’s all messy and stained. I want to look at my Mamochka’s face.
It feels like it’s the only thing left that is still real.
No! I’ve stained it with more red, more blood.
I just wanted to caress her cheek one last time.
Sorry. I let out a small whisper through my tears, “I love you. Can you come back now? Please?” But no one answered.
