Page 269 of Nemesync
Our mouths left no space to breathe, yet I had never breathed better than when my breath was taken away by him.
He moved away from me for a few seconds so we could fill our lungs with air, his forehead pressed against mine, our bodies intertwining. “I missed you so much, Zanae; I thought I would never be able to breathe again.”
He kissed me one last time, tenderly and gently, as if he were savoring the sensation, and then took me to bed to sleep right after.
I was getting ready to bed, looking at my reflection in the mirror, and I remembered. I recalled that hand.
That shadow that had followed me for years in my reflection as if it were a part of me. My stomach, my throat.
His hand was everywhere.
And then the shadow transformed into a hand that my body recognized automatically.
Elijah traced long lines on my skin. “What are you thinking about?” He whispered.
Taking his hand, I traced the scars left behind by Lukas’s passage—where I had cut away everything that reminded me of it.
“He touched me here too. He used to call me his Little Angel.” Elijah’s grip tightened, his jaw clenching with barely contained anger. “He silenced me, even when my voice remained silent. And he smiled, proud of himself, proud of the pain he inflicted. He said I deserved it, that I wanted it. And he threatened Luna, saying she would suffer if I dared to scream again.”
Elijah turned me to face him, his touch gentle yet filled with a simmering rage. “I wish you had killed him yourself,Milaya.”
I wished that too. Anger replaced pain somehow.
My eyes closed, feeling peace as his arms enveloped me. He stood behind me, guiding me to look at my reflection in the mirror again.
“Do you see this face?” His fingers traced the contours of my cheeks. “It’s the face of the love of my life, the most beautiful soul I have ever known.” His hand moved down to my throat; his touch tender but still filled with conviction. “Here. This is my favorite song, the beat of my own heart.”
On my stomach, his fingers traced delicate lines, each touch healing. “Here, the body of the woman I adore, the one who will one day bring life into this world, our world.” Finally, his hand rested on my heart. “This is my favorite one, the epitome of love and hope in my head. Your life.”
I turned to look at him and just kissed him.
“I want you to feel my hands every time you look at yourself in the mirror.” He said, before lifting me up to lay me down in the bed. “Mine, in every way, scarred and beautiful.”
“Scarred and beautiful,” I whispered to myself before nestling against his chest.
That night, in our new house, I found sleep without nightmares, without the chill of cold sweats, without the racing palpitations, but with the hand of the man I love around me, and his breath caressing my hair.
I fell asleep sure that in his arms, I risked nothing, as if everyone, even my own demons, were afraid of him.
47
ZANAE
Afew days passed, and I tried to see life in color again.
Elijah was teaching me how to do it, even though I felt like he was discovering things himself along this process.
Niko and he were often on the phone; they were looking for my mother, I knew, even if they didn’t explicitly tell me. They searched for her, and in their eyes, I understood that it wasn’t for small talk. Ben told me they found some clues in the data we stole from Lukas’s house, but he didn’t want to reveal much.
The Venom Reapers were already taking care of it. These two were like a duo from hell together. Their eyes turned dark; they sought chaos and welcomed it with warmth and ease. And they sought it out for me, to offer me justice and protection.
Sometimes I watched them silently and felt gratitude—all of them, including Ben, Brian and Miranda, who also had their own demons to face, preferred to help me confront mine rather than focus on theirs.
I would often stay with Eli and Niko, reading, calling Brian and Miranda, or spending my days watching movies with Benny.
But then, my thoughts would drift; Lukas’s face would resurface, along with the memory of his touch and his breath.
It felt as if I couldn’t breathe, as if there wasn’t enough air, and my lungs were closing.
