Page 312 of Nemesync
Elijah pointed at each mark on his chest. “I’ve been tortured, Zanae. My abdomen was opened, I was stabbed, electrocuted, shot, even punched so hard I almost died. I was burned with acid and endured all kinds of torture, physically and emotionally. But I’ve never suffered as much as when you’re the one suffering.”
He lowered his head, chuckling as if he were losing his mind. “And you seriously think I could ever hate you and leave you? Zanae, that choice stopped being mine a long time ago. I loved you even when I had to despise you. People might fear me out there, but the one who truly has power over me, the only one that wields control over my very being, is you. You always had that control on me. Always. Do you realize the absurdity of doubting for a second that what your mother said could be true?”
In a swift motion, he seized my hand, pressing it forcefully against his heart. “You have the power of life or death over me, Zanae. If one day you decide that this heart must stop beating, I’ll make it stop. So, I`ll repeat one last time, never dare to doubt what I feel for you. I love you to the furthest reaches of eternity, and that will never change, even after my own death.”
I stood there, at a loss for words.
I was too stunned to speak.
Too emotional to cry. Too in love to stop his declaration.
He loved me. I was a disaster, a tragedy on my own, but he wanted to be part of this macabre and deadly dance that sculpted the fabric of my days.
The man I would die and kill for, loved me.
Everything he said was engraved in my brain. I never saw him like this. He never yelled at me, never lost his temper with me, but I felt his frustration and felt sorry for doubting him.
He loved me, and I loved him too.
In this kind of relationship, nothing was complicated, but with us, everything was.
Two broken souls, struggling to breathe in unison without causing pain, without succumbing, without drowning.
My love gently caressed my cheek, his eyes pleading for me to comprehend the magnitude of his feelings. “I won everything the night I met you,Milaya.I won my life back in your eyes.”
Softly, he added, “Go to sleep, Zanae. I need to be alone a little more.”
He placed a tender kiss on my forehead. I was still processing what happened. I nodded quietly and retreated to the bed.
Our room felt empty.
His words echoed in my mind like a haunting melody.
I felt sick remembering his scars, his pain. I felt sick, but I also felt loved to a point where I was overwhelmed with our love, in the best and worst way possible.
Exhaustion finally claimed me, pulling me into the embrace of sleep, yet the dreams were elusive, slipping through my fingers like grains of sand.
He didn’t sleep with me that night. I didn’t feel my other half, I didn’t feel his heart, his arms, his touch, his warmth. I knew he was upset.
When the morning light filtered through the curtains, I stirred, expecting to find Elijah beside me, thinking he had come during the night.
But he didn’t. The bed was empty, and a note in his familiar scrawl caught my eye.
“I went boxing this morning. Be back soon.”
I clung to the note as if it were a lifeline. The ache in my head persisted, but I needed to distract myself, so I reached for a book, hoping the words on its pages might provide another kind of reality.
The door opened, and Nikolai quietly approached from behind while I was deeply focused on my book on the sofa.
I turned toward him, only to be met by his playful smile.
“Mind if I join?”
“Yes, I do mind.”
The book was reaching the most important point; they were going to kiss for the first time.
But Niko just casually sat beside me, replying, “Don’t fucking care.” Unsurprising, coming from him.
