Page 139 of Eternal
DAMIR
“Lover You Should Come Over” by Jeff Buckley
Present
Imight be the worst agent alive right now.
Maybe ever.
All it took was for her to breathe in my direction, and suddenly, I forgot how to do my job. Almost kissed her. Almost touched her. Almost fucked her right there, and for what? Some fleeting high? A rush of something unidentifiable clawing at my ribs?
Pathetic.
Fucking pathetic for her.
I’ve slit throats while looking my targets in the eye. Dismantled lives without blinking. I don’t hesitate. I don’tfeel. I’m efficient, I’m precise, I don’t make mistakes. But then there’s her, and I make every fucking mistake in the book, over and over again, just to be around her a little longer.
So, when she said she wanted to cook at home, some rational part of my brain must’ve seen it for what it was, an opening. A way to fix my mistake. Finish what I started.
The rest of me?
The rest of me thought,Yeah, perfect.
Let’s sit down. Let’s pretend. Let’s stretch this out a little longer, because I like the way she talks to me, like I’m someone worth speaking to. Because I like the way she breathes, the way her eyes show that nostalgic aspect I longed for all my life.
And the most idiotic, delusional part of me? That part thought, let’s be with her again, for a little while. Because apparently, we can’t get enough, because we’re obsessed with the one person we’re supposed to erase from existence.
And she lets me in. No hesitation. No suspicion.
Like I belong here. Like I’m not the reason she won’t wake up one day.
And the funniest fucking part?
I step inside with a smile. The door clicks shut behind me.
And I honestly don’t know if I’m here to kill her anymore.
The warmth of her home presses into me, in a way that isn’t unpleasant. It’s blue, everywhere. I already know she loves that color. And the most ridiculous part of me, the same part that’s making every fucking mistake imaginable, thinks, maybe she likes your eyes too. Because they’re blue. Because they’re her favorite color.
Jesus Christ.Who am I right now?
And the scent…herscent, wraps around me. Something sweet, something familiar, something kind. It’s still crawling under my skin when she looks at me, her gaze flicking over my hoodie and sweats, and a smirk tugs at her lips. That smile.Fuck.
“You changed,” she notes, amused.
I shrug, hands in my pockets. “Figured I’d be comfortable if I was staying a while.”
Because I am. As long as I can keep pretending.
She hums, studying me too long, then she nods toward the hallway. “Stay here. I’m gonna put my pajamas on.”
She disappears down the hall, and I exhale slowly, pressing my tongue against my teeth. My fingers twitch. I roll my shoulders, trying to shake off the weight crawling up my spine.
This is stupid.
All of this.
Every second I’m here is a second too long. Every glance she throws my way, every easy moment between us is a fucking lie. She doesn’t know what I am. What I was sent here to do. And she won’t. Not yet.Maybe not ever.
