Page 151 of Eternal
It’s simple. She needs me. And I’m supposed to be the one who always says yes, always answers the call, always figures it out.
I lean in slightly against my chair. “You don’t do things alone anymore, Voron,” I say softly. She’s always been working on shit by herself. And for reasons I can’t explain, I’ve come to be that person she can lean on, whether she wants me there or not.
There’s a soft sigh from her end. I imagine the look on her face. “Fine. Forget it, Damir. I’ll find a solution.”
I don’t want her to go. The thought of her being out there without me, it pisses me off. “No,” I say, my voice suddenly harder. “I’ll do it. Send me the address. And the time.”
There’s a long pause, like she’s sizing me up, weighing whether or not to accept my help. Then, finally, the words slip out, calm and soft. “Okay, thank you. See you tonight.”
She hangs up before I can say anything else, and for a moment, the room feels colder. I sit there, phone still pressed to my ear, staring at nothing. The emptiness fills me, but it’s not the same kind of emptiness I’m used to.
See you tonight.
What the hell is it about her? I can’t even focus on the case, on the files, on the damn things I’m supposed to be investigating. The ones about her possible family, her mother... they’re still open, taunting me with secrets, but it’s like I’m looking at them through a fog.
Do I want to know?
What’s she doing tonight? Why won’t she tell me?
I rub a hand over my face, trying to shake it off. She’s a job. She’s a target. I have to remember that.
I don’t know why it’s affecting me this way.
I’m supposed to be tracking her, finding out everything there is to know, and yet here I am, obsessing over her. Over a woman who probably wouldn’t give a damn if I disappeared tomorrow. A woman who’s probably already plotting her next kill while I’m sitting here wondering what she’s doing tonight, where she’s going, who she’s seeing.
I don’t have the answers, and that’s the worst part. All this digging, all this searching, and the more I find, the less I understand.
I close the laptop, pushing away the rest of the noise. My fingers itch for more answers, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Not right now. Not when the thought of her going out tonight sits like a knot in my stomach.
She wants me to pick her up. But she won’t tell me why. I’m not some damn chauffeur, and yet... I’m ready to drop everything for her. Ready to follow wherever she leads me, even if it’s straight into a fucking tornado.
Is thisweakness?
I can feel my heart beating faster now. The thought of her being out there, on her own, with no one to protect her, no one to stop her, makes my chest tighten. It’s irrational,stupid, but it’s there.
I want to be the one who keeps her safe.
But how the hell am I supposed to keep her safe when she doesn’t even want to be kept?
I stand up, pacing the room, rubbing the back of my neck as the unease grows. And for the first time in this mess of a situation, I’m starting to realize the truth: I don’t want to know her as a job anymore. I want to know her as aperson.
But that’s where things start to get messy. She’s not just a person. She’s not just anyone. She’s the kind of woman who breaks things, who kills, who destroys anything that stands in her way. And I... I’m falling for it.
I’m falling for a lie.
For her.
And I don’t know how to stop it.
39
AZRA
“I Will - Los Angeles Version” by Radiohead
Past
My father took Eren out, and I stayed with Mama. Today she’s herself, I can see it, and I’m really happy about it.
