Page 212 of Eternal
His jacket drops to the floor.
It’s not that, but I don’t answer, I can’t, because if he sees—if he understands—he’ll be angry. And he always finds excuses to punish me.
A hand grabs my arm, hard. “Turn around.”
I shake my head.No, no, no…
His fingers dig into my skin, yanking me back and I stumble, nearly fall. The tiles are slippery with water and blood,myblood.
I don’t want to fight, I want to be gone, high as the sky, far away, like the ocean, anywhere but here.
So, I cry, instinctively. A stupid, gasping sound, and I laugh too, I don’t even know why.
“Why the fuck are you laughing?”
I don’t answer.
His face twists, because he hates this, hates when I go silent, hates when I don’t play along.
The slap comes fast and hard, and I hit the wall, the world goes sideways for a second, then I’m falling, with hands shoving me down, roughly, and my knees hit the floor.
“You think you can disobey me?”
His belt slides free, the buckle scrapes against the tile.
“You’re gonna be punished for this. Who told you to ruin your skin like that?”
I did, I ruined it, because I didn’t want someone else to do it first.
“Now open your mouth and ask for forgiveness.”
Forgiveness.
For what?
For being born?
I shake my head.
Wrong answer.
Pain explodes in my ribs…his boot, kicking hard into my side, my body folds in half and I cough, spitting blood onto the tile and watching it spread, thin and red.
“I said, open your damn mouth.”
I don’t want to.
I’m not here…. this isn’t happening…
But I know what happens if I don’t.
I blink up at him, his belt is loose, his jeans unzipped, his cross swings from his neck, glinting in the dim light. I want to ripit off, I want to shove it down his throat and watch him choke on it, but I don’t move.
His hand tangles in my hair, and yanks my head back. “You wanna act like a little bitch, then I’ll treat you like one.”
My lips part, not because I want to, but because I don’t have a choice, because he’s already pushing inside. Thick and suffocating. He moans loudly, like he enjoys this, like this is normal.
And I gag, but his grip tightens.
