Page 248 of Eternal
My fingers find her scar, the one I didn’t cause, but I memorized. The one I want to kiss again andagain and again.
She leans in, her arms looping around my neck like chains. “Then you better try harder,” she whispers. “It’s your mission, right?”
Fuck.
“God,” I breathe, “why did my last mission have to be you?”
She smiles, mean and beautiful.Perfect. “Why? Guilt? Or weakness?”
My lips ghost hers, close enough to taste memories. “Because killing you would kill me.”
She freezes, just for a beat. Then I kiss the corner of her mouth, quick, like punishment. Feather on her lips, enough to breathe better.
“Don’t do that again in public,” she whispers. “Not in front of them.”
I nod, even though we both know I will. “BecauseyourAlexander is here tonight?”
Jealousy. Fucking jealousy.
“He’s not better than you,” she says, rising from my lap. “Men are all the same. Pretty faces, biceps, zero usefulness. One word and my libido flatlines.”
“Funny,” I say, rising after her. “Bet if I whispered dirty things in your ear, it’d spike.”
She walks, hips swaying like sin on stilettos. “Try me.”
“Oh, I will.” And I will win.
72
AZRA
“Cherry” by Lana Del Rey
Present
He had to be here.
To remind me.
He came back to me, stupid me will think it means he missed me, that it wasn't all a lie. But the other me knows men are not people you can trust, but she’s still stupid enough to want him to touch her again, kiss her again, talk to her again, like she’s his, like in his arms she can be whatever she wants and that he’ll accept it.
Stupid fucking me.
And I don’t even want to turn around and look at him. He’s sitting at that bar, looking at me. He doesn’t even care to be here. He’s a traitor, he shouldn’t even be alive. He should bedead. I should’ve told Vik or kill him myself.
But I didn’t, I didn’t and I don’t even regret it.
So I drink, and drink, and drink again, until I smell a vanilla and sweet scent next to me.
“Azra, you okay?” Zanae asks, smiling softly, and I smile back because I’m not okay, I never was, I’llneverbe.
“Yeah, sorry I’m drinking my ass off at your party.”
She shakes her head before grabbing my hand, “Don’t apologize, I just want you to know that whatever is going on in your head, don’t let the voice win.”
I look at her hand on mine, a cedar tree engraved there, soft, perfect.
“What if they already won?” I ask stupidly like she got the answer.
