Page 269 of Eternal
I want her, more than anything…I want her.
“I hate how much I need you,” she muttered, so quietly I could’ve missed it.
Gosh her voice. Her voice melted on my tongue and I kissed her harder.
“I don’t care,” I whispered back, my lips trailing down her jaw to her neck, kissing her there, feeling the quick beat of her pulse against my lips, the delicate scar that makes her even more beautiful. “I don’t care, Azra. I’ll take everything you give me. All of it. Even your hate.”
Her hips buckled on me, legs parted around my waist and I kissed her again, slow and deep, the way I wanted to, as if I could swallow every part of her. Every scar, every broken piece of her that she thought was too ugly to be loved.
“I love kissing you,” I said against her skin, hands sliding down to her waist, pulling her tighter, “I always wanted to kiss you.”
She shivered against me, but not from the cold. Her hands slid up to my shoulders, pulling herself closer, the weight of her needing me felt like a drug I shouldn’t let myself taste. But I did. And now I can’t let it go.
“I can’t do this,” she whispered, the words broken, but they didn’t stop her from kissing me harder, as if the kiss could drown out the pain in her chest. “You’ll leave me, you’ll hurt me.”
“Shh,” I said softly, my hands cradling the back of her head, keeping her close. “I won’t. I’m not going anywhere. Even if I should, even if I’m everything you shouldn’t want. I’ll stay, Azra. I’ll stay until you push me away, until you don’t need me anymore. Even then, I’ll stay.”
Her breath hitched again, the way her chest rose and fell, the way her body seemed to sway into me, like she was trying to find something solid to hold onto. I could feel her softness, the way she still wanted me even if she hated it. Even if she hated herself for it.
“What are you doing to me…” I whispered against her lips, shaking from need, from attraction, from desire, fromaffection... “Fuck… What are you fucking doing to me?” I kissed her again, more urgently this time, because I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t let her slip through my fingers. Not now. Not like this.
“Damir…” She breathed.
“Listen, partner. I’ll be whatever you need,” I murmured between kisses, my hands tracing the shape of her jaw, feeling the scar beneath my fingers. “Anything.”
Her lips parted, and for a brief moment, she just looked at me. She pulled back, barely. Lips swollen. Eyes glassy. Like she hated what we were doing and hated how much she needed more. “Stop doing this, stop the need. Stop it.”
My forehead pressed to hers, both of us panting like we just ran through war. Maybe we did. “I already do,” I whispered. My voice was wrecked. “Want this. Wantyou.”
Her hand grabbed my collar, tight. “You’re supposed to be the one who ruins me,” she said. “Not the one who makes me feel.”
“Too late for that,” I muttered, mouth grazing hers again. “You already feel like home. It’s way too late.”
She let out this broken little laugh, sharp and wet, tipsy, beautiful. “I hate this. I hate you for staying.”
“I know.” I kissed her jaw, slowly. Down to her neck. “Hate me later. Want me now.”
Her hands slid under my shirt, cold fingers against hot skin. I groaned. She leaned in, lips brushing my ear.
Our mouths met again, no grace.
Just crash and burn.
She kissed me like a dare. I kissed her like a confession.
“You don’t get to disappear after this,” she whispered, voice ragged.
“I won’t,” I said against her lips. “Even if I should. Even if you beg me to.”
She didn’t pull away. Instead, her fingers tangled into my hair, pulling me deeper, harder, and I could feel her heart thudding against my chest. Like a silent scream, a promise we both knew we couldn’t keep forever.
We stayed there. Kissing and touching, caressing her skin, her hair, her soul, like I was dying to. And feeling her fingers pull me closer, explore, like she ever felt this way.
She moaned low in her throat, desperate and angry. “You make me need you. That’s not fair.”
“Then need me,” I growled, hands pulling her closer, pressing into every place that made her tremble. “Use me. Fucking ruin me back.”
Again and again, for minutes we kissed, the night settled in slowly and I was still devouring her, and she was still pulling me in. She kissed me.
