Page 277 of Eternal
We lay facing each other, one pillow between us, eyes locked. Mypartner, the safest liar I’ve ever seen…
The man who cracked me open and made me feel again. The same man who stayed when I asked him to.
His blue eyes were searching mine, like he was trying to find something I’d never let him see. I couldn’t look away, I didn’t even want to. Because at this moment, I could almost imagine it, a world where the two of us could exist together, free of all the things that kept us apart.
A world where he wasn’t hunting me, and I wasn’t running.
His gaze softened, and slowly, his hand moved, hesitant, like he wasn’t sure he should. His fingers brushed my lips, featherlight, and I froze.
Is that what affection and love looks like? I think it is.
A warm hug, a kiss but just looking at your person.
That’s love right? What else could it be when my lips move by their own will to touch his lips?
What else could it be if my hands moved by their own will to touch his?
Maybe it islove. Maybe it was love the moment he held my hands and caressed my scars, or maybe it was love the moment he promised me he’d take care of me even if it was built on lies.
Even that wasn’t enough for me to stay away.
Maybe I’m allowed to feel it, thislove.
I stayed there, still, until my hand came up on its own, trembling as it rested over his. His skin was warm, almost burning against mine, and my fingers closed around his instinctively, holding him there, and I felt his breath catch.
“Your hands…” His voice was soft, barely audible. “They’re always so cold.”
My chest tightened, and for a second, I couldn’t breathe.
Cold. Always cold.
The memories came back, the sleepless nights in that house, where the cold had seeped into my bones, into my soul, until it became a concrete part of me.
The lack of warmth, inside and out.
And so, I pulled away from him.
I don’t want to think about that, I want to stop, I want to heal, I want to behappyagain.
Sitting up, I hugged my knees to my chest, trying to push it all back down.
The past, the pain… theweakness.
“Azra,” he said, his voice soft, as if he knew I was slipping away. He sat up too, his movements slow, careful almost. I felt him behind me before I saw him, the faint pressure of his fingertips pulling up the t shirt, and brushing against my back, so light I almost thought I’d imagined it.
All along my skin.
Down, and down, anddown….
“You’re so soft. How can you besosoft?”
Then, he leaned forward, his forehead pressing against the curve of my spine. His warmth seeped into me, but I didn’t move,couldn’t. The gesture wasn’t rough or uncomfortable, it was silent, pleading, like he was begging for something he couldn’t say.
Beggingmeto dare look at him, spare him a glance.Anything. As long as it was for him, and only for him.
“Stay,” he murmured, the word muffled against my back. “Just for a little longer.”
Stay.
