Page 278 of Eternal
I don’t know what to do with that word.
It doesn’t belong to me, it never has. It’s always been meant for other people, people who are softer, people who don’t leave destruction in their wake, people who aren’t me. I want to sayyes. I want to press my forehead against his chest and let my body answer for me, let my silence mean something other than fear.
But my silence has never been gentle, and my quiet is the loudest lie I carry. It has never been easy, it has always been the space between hurt and running away.
Because I don’t stay, and no one stays for me.
Not my mother, not my brother, not Alexei, not the people who should have, the ones who promised, the ones who were supposed to be different.
But he’s notthem.
And that terrifies me.
My breath shakes, my fingers twitch where they rest against the sheets. My mind tells me to move, to untangle myself from the warmth of his body before it starts to feel real. Before I start to believe that this moment is mine to keep.
But for the first time, I let another voice speak.
The quiet one, the one I’ve buried beneath years of indifference and survival, the one that whispers:What if you stayed?
Not forever, not even for long, only long enough to feel this.
Just long enough to let the ache in my chest soften into something tender, affectionate.
His breath ghosts against my shoulder, and I close my eyes.
Maybe I don’t have to run tonight. Maybe, for once, I can pretend that someone wants me to stay and that I deserve to.
For a long moment, I stayed like that, then, slowly, I turned to face him. His eyes met mine, watching me bare. Not the killer. Not the monster. NotVoron. He didn’t touch me this time, he just waited watching me like my eyes heldlifeitself in it.
And for reasons I couldn’t explain, I lay back down.
He followed, settling across from me, our faces inches apart.
“I promised you,” He let out. “I’ll keep your hands warm, just for the night.”
I can hear it.
So clearly, so loudly yet so quietly.
The song Kat was talking about, the one you hear when you meet the person your soul has always longed for.
It’s here. In the air, in my ears, in the space between us. It’s in his ocean eyes, on his mouth, at his fingertips.
It’s not a melody, it’s his heartbeat, it’s the way he breathes, like even that air belongs to me.
The song you hear when you feellove.
And yet… It’s relaxing, andterrifying.
What if I love him just to suffer for it? What if I love him and it ruins me?
What if?—
His fingers brushed against mine, just a touch, just enough to make the song go louder in my heart.
And for the first time, the questions stop.
Like he’s answering me without saying a word.
