Page 439 of Eternal
She’s so light in my arms, she’s so light I hate it. I cradle her. She’s not breathing anymore, she’s not breathing. Azra is not breathing.
No. No,not like this.
She’s warm, still warm… She can’t be gone.
Not today, not when I was finally gonna give her something good.
She was mine. She wasmine. I was supposed to have her forever. But all I have is her blood on my hands, her name breaking inside me.
I can’t breathe, I can’t think, I just want to go back. One second. Onefuckingsecond.
I was gonna build her a home, and now… now all I’ve got is a body, and a war.
I lay her gently on the bed, press a final kiss to her forehead, and carefully slide my jacket under her head, then I stand.
Her fingers are limp in mine, the glove is all red, but I bring it to my lips, kiss the iris I stitched there.
There’s something wrong in my chest, something tearing, not sharp, not fast, but wide. Like a crack through everything I ever believed I could have.
I thought I knew heartbreak, I thought I’d buried enough to survive anything.
We were almost there, a house, a garden, her music. My hands on her waist every morning. She would’ve made it beautiful. She would’ve made it real.
Her lips are still parted like she has one more thing to say. I smooth the hair from her face, and press my forehead to hers, and my voice breaks. “I love you.” I choke on the words. “I will never forgive myself for not letting you know it. Okay, partner?” My fingers tremble where they hold her hand. “I love you. I love you. I love youand it’seternal.”
The word cracks in my mouth.Eternal.
“I’m coming back,” I murmured one last time, and then I left.
122
DAMIR
“Skyfall” by Adele
Present
Itook the gun she couldn’t use, the one outside from the guard she killed. I feel nothing but heat, not rage, not yet, only… purpose. It’s quiet inside me now, like grief just… vacuumed the soul out of me.
So I walked to the party, to the ones who did this, to the ones who smiled while she bled.
Because love like that doesn’t die without war. The gun’s heavy in my hand. The second one is heavier. Loaded. Warm from the dead guard’s holster.
No one notices at first. Laughter, glasses clinking, fireworks screaming across the sky.
Red, white, blue. It should’ve been her day, it should’ve been hers.
She should’ve had another cake, candles, a swing in the garden, instead…Instead…She’s lying still, in a room with blood on her gloves, on her smile, my jacket under her head.
Someone turns to greet me, I shoot them in the face, screams erupt, another firework explodes overhead, too loud, too bright. I hate the noise. I hate the people. I hate the colors.
The guards raise their weapons too slow.
I shoot. One. Two. Another.
I don’t aim to wound.
They fall like dominoes, I move through the chaos like it’s automatic, like I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life. Maybe I have.
