Page 107 of The Pucking Date
She snorts. “Not a chance.”
I wipe my face, throat burning. “I thought I was being smart, protecting myself. But the truth? I only kept running because I was sure he’d come after me.” My voice thins. “And now...he’s not.”
Mom goes very still.
“I did the one thing I knew would break him,” I whisper. “I didn’t trust him. Not when it counted. And he always—always—showed me I was the center of his world.” My breath hitches. “He never said the words. We were still figuring it out. But I knew. I knew he loved me.”
My fingers tremble as I say it. Because loving someone isn’t just about feeling it, it’s about believing you deserve it. And I never did. I spent so long waiting for him to realize I wasn’t worth the fight that I became the thing that proved it.
The truth knocks the air out of me. I curl forward, palms over my face. “And I kept the biggest thing from him.”
Mom’s hand comes up, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. The gentleness undoes me completely.Because this is what love looks like—patient, unconditional, staying even when you’re broken.
Everything Finn gave me. Everything I destroyed.
“Mom,” I whisper, voice cracking. “I’m pregnant.” I stare down at my lap.
“What?” Mom breathes, her composure cracking, her voice rising. “You’re pregnant?”
Sophie shushes her immediately. “Mom. Quiet. Unless you want Dad to hear it through the screen?”
“And I didn’t tell him. Kept waiting for the perfect moment,” I continue. “Then he found out by accident. And now he’s cold. Not cruel, not angry. Just…not mine anymore. He looks at me like I’m a stranger. Like I’m a responsibility he’s managing.”
Mom blinks, lowering her voice. “How far along?”
“Thirteen weeks,” I murmur.
She turns fully toward me, brows knitting. “Jessica. You should’ve told me. You shouldn’t be doing this alone.”
“I’m not,” I say, voice tight. “Sophie’s been here for me. And you—would you really have been able to keep it from Dad? I didn’t want to put you in that position. Just give me a few more days. I need to tell him myself. He’s going to lose his mind on Finn.”
“Sounds like you love Finn the real way.”
I nod, blinking fast. “I do.”
“And?”
“I think I broke us for good.”
She pulls me in, arms wrapped tight.
“He doesn’t see me anymore. He’s…polite. Responsible. Clinical. He checks on me in the office, texts to see if I’m eating. But he’s focused on the baby. Because that’s all we are now. A baby and its mother. Not Jessica and Finn. Not the woman who made him laugh and the man who made mebelieve in forever. Just…logistics he’s handling with the same care he’d show any teammate’s family.”
I press my hand to my chest, where it feels like something vital has been carved out. Where his name used to live.
Mom leans forward slightly. “Do you still see him?”
The answer bursts out before I can think.
“I do, Mom. He’s all I see. When I close my eyes, he’s there. When I wake up, I reach for him. I dream about his laugh, his hands, the way he used to say my name like it was sacred. He’s everywhere and nowhere, and I don’t know how to stop loving someone who’s already gone. I don’t know how to stop reaching for someone who’s learned not to catch me.”
Silence stretches.
Sophie clears her throat. “You scorched the earth with Dad earlier, by the way.”
Mom lets out a quiet chuckle. “He’ll survive.”
“I panicked,” I mumble.
