Page 13 of Ruarc
I have been dreading this since he pulled me close to him last night. Can he not feel how hard I am fighting not to relax in his arms or how my body reacts to him being so close? When he grabbed my breast last night and I felt his shaft harden against me, it took everything I had to stay still and not rub myself against him.
That was one of the reasons I was grateful that Ruby insisted we be allowed to bathe; at least I could wash the slick from my thighs before he could smell it on me. Consumed by my thoughts, I almost scream when Ruarc’s massive arms pick me up off the ground, effortlessly pulling me against him on the disk. However, the tension never leaves his frame. Closing my eyes, I fight back the tears I can feel forming. Last rising when he held me close, I let myself dream that he might be softening toward me, but something changed with the rising of the suns, and I feel like he has built his walls even higher.
“Quit fidgeting and help me look for signs.” Ruarc barks out, angry at me as always. What I would not do for a comforting word or any kindness willingly given. Looking around, I see whatI have from day one: a non-stop, changing landscape in a foreign world. I am not a tracker, so the signs I am supposed to be looking for are nonexistent.
The few times I have tried to start a conversation, I get nothing back, but short one-word replies until I finally decide to stop making an effort. Einar and Slavic have commed several times, and he is no kinder to them when he answers. His constant anger makes me wonder why the Gods of Ruk placed me with a male whose heart is hardened to the world and the people around him. Especially when I have spent so much of my existence trying to help and care for those around me. His coldness holdsothersat bay … when all I want is forothersto embrace me the way I do them.
The rising drags on to the point where I feel like if he were not holding me against him slightly, I would simply wither to the ground in a puddle of mush. Even though I have been trying to hide it, I feel myself weakening every time we do not feed the mate bond. However, I will not let its effect on me to force Ruarc into a bond he does not want. He is angry enough already, so an unwanted bond would simply make both of us miserable.
A burst of cold air coming out of a valley has Ruarc turning that way, and I find myself in an area I have not been to nor heard about before.
Ruarc maneuvers the disk around the tree trunks and their roots that are high above the ground’s wet surface. I was looking down at the odd tubers when he comes to a sudden stop, and I gasp when I glance up. We seem to have come to an area surrounded by tall cliff walls. A small waterfall flows over its side, pooling in what appears to be the ankle-deep water in front of us. But what has caught my attention are the plants hanging from the largest tree I have ever seen. Its massive height reaches so high that wecannot see its canopy for the clouds. Glowing dimly in the low light of this valley, the plants resemble little bells, but it is the sound they make when the wind catches them that captivates me with wonder.
Neither of us says a word as their music surrounds us. I grasp Ruarc’s arms, unconsciously swaying back and forth to the quiet melody. When the light breeze makes me shiver, he pulls me closer, and I look up at his strong, handsome features, only to realize he is staring down at me, not the sight in front of us.
Hesitantly, I reach up, slowly pulling his head toward mine. Lifting up on my tiptoes, I brush my lips against his and Ruarc’s breath catches. I expect him to pull away, but he deepens the kiss, his hands trembling as he reaches for my face, drawing me even closer with such tenderness that I feel my hearts flutter in my chest. Heat blooms within me, spreading through my body as our mate bond pulses under his fingertips. Strength floods my system when his tongue touches my own, and I moan at the sensation. Ruarc jerks back, shaking his head, and I silently curse myself for breaking the moment, “Forgive me, Kallen. I do not know what came over me … it will not happen again.”
He turns the disk so fast that if he did not have a tight grip on me, I would have flown off it. Fortunately, or unfortunately, he holds me close to him until we clear the valley, and we find ourselves back out in the primary forest. I glance back at the retreating valley, trying to imprint its location in my mind so that I might find it again one rising. Because in its enchanting secret embrace, we were one … just for a moment.
“Ruarc, please talk to me.”
“Kallen, you are like a poison in my veins that is going to kill me slowly, but I crave you, nevertheless. You want me to yell out tothe gods that you are my Starshine, and that I was not complete until they laid you in my arms. To tell the universe that I will spend eternity in your arms if only you will forgive me for all my doubts and distrust. But those are merely words Kallen, and they will not feed you, keep you warm, or build you a home … and I am a pirate with nothing to call his own. So those words will not come from me and one rising, I will cut this addiction I have for you from within me, and I will walk away.”
The finality in his words rips me to shreds as his anger intensifies and I feel the strength that flowed through me earlier leave as if it had never been. The rest of the rising is a blur and before I know it, we find Slavic and Ruby setting up camp under a rock outcropping. Ruby is busy building a fire pit with the rocks Slavic is bringing to her, and her bright smile hurts. When she sees us approaching, I must force a fake one on my face when I step off the disk, moving briskly away from Ruarc. I hear him tell Slavic that he will be back, and he leaves without a word to me. Ruby stands with her hands on her hips as she watches him take off as quickly as he can.
“Damn! He’s Mister Personality, isn’t he? Makes me more and more thankful for Slavic every day. He wasn’t easy on the eyes at first, but his big heart makes him beautiful.”
“You are correct, Ruby. It takes more than looks to be attractive. The sad part is, Ruarc does not see the grave harm he is doing to both of us. He is looking at his future in a tunnel with no exits or doors that allow anyone else in. I am tired of the constant battle with him, and if there is a way to set him free, I will find it. I have never been wanted, and I refuse to force myself on another who feels that way about everyone, including me.”
“Well, that’s just fucking sad, if you ask me. He is just a damn jerk who has no idea what he is throwing away, and if that’s theway he wants to treat you, then to hell with him, you deserve better.”
“Thank you, Ruby, but the gods have chosen, and I have been rejected.” Before I can say anything else, Slavic comes back holding a small white flower in his hand.
“Ruby, my love, would you like to take a walk with me?”
“That’s code for let’s sneak off and get naked, isn’t it?” She squeals playfully when he grabs her around the waist, tossing her over his shoulder as he walks off through the forest.
I cannot help but smile as she waves at me over his shoulder, but the quiet that surrounds me after they are gone has me drowning in a spiral of depression. It is so bad that when they return, I act as if I am asleep so that I do not have to pretend everything is alright, but Ruby is persistent if nothing else.
“Kallen, wake up … gotta feed the belly. Please don’t make me take the first bite of this because you have to warn me if it’s yucky or not.” I sit up reluctantly. “Oh My God! Have you seen the magic, sparkly mushrooms out there? This place is constantly surprising me. Slavic teased me that he was going to have to up his game if my eyes strayed off one more time while we were bumping uglies. We would have been back sooner, but I had to prove to him that he was the only thing out there I wanted to play with.”
I cannot stop the smile that she effortlessly manages to always pull from me with her odd words. Before I can say anything else, I find her spoon right in front of me, full of some of the wild vegetables growing in the area.
“Slavic said all this stuff is okay to eat, but the colors look wrong to me. Here, take a bite.”
I reach up, taking the spoon out of her hand, biting into the soft tubers and greens Slavic has mixed it with a gruel of some sort. “Not bad Slavic, it actually has a nice flavor, and yes Ruby, I also love to watch the terraforming plants sparkle in the darkness. It is like the ground and the air all around us suddenly becomes enchanted.”
Slavic smiles big, and Ruby rolls her eyes as he preens around before handing me his bowl again. When I start to refuse, he holds up his hand and shakes his head no, before walking off to get more firewood since the darkness seems to be settling in quickly. Ruby plops down next to me, eating out of her much smaller bowl.
“What do you mean those sparkles are actually working or something?”
“The plant you are calling a mushroom is a world creator. Someone much more intelligent than I figured out a way to turn planets from wastelands into this.” I point around. “Those floating lights are spores which clean the air and help reset the atmosphere of this world and many more like it. They say that when these plants and the spores disappear, the planet is stable, and they are no longer needed. We have no idea who started doing this throughout the universe, but we were lucky we crashed on a planet this evolved, or we all would have perished upon impact.”
“So, the multicolored mushrooms are important, good to know.” Then, a rare occurrence happens; Ruby gets quiet. I am just about to finish my meal when I see movement right above us. The sound of a scuffle followed by Slavic cursing fills me with alarm. Grabbing Ruby’s arm, I shove her behind me as I see Slavic walking stiffly toward us. Slavic is well known forhis fighting capabilities, and it is obvious he is simply allowing whoever is behind him to think they are the ones in control.
Just as Slavic comes into the light of the fire, I see the knife that is being held against his throat, and before I can say a word, a huge shadow jumps from the rock face above us, tackling whoever is holding the knife on Slavic to the ground. Ruarc struggles for a tic to grab the flailing limbs raining blows down on him while Slavic watches with an evil smile. Oddly, whoever he is holding goes still, and I see Ruarc standing with a small female Ruk in his arms. Shoving Ruby further back behind me, I start looking around to see if there are any others, only to hear my name.
It takes a tic for my mind to catch up with what my eyes are seeing. Realization dawns on me that Ruarc is holding Myev captive with her arms behind her back.
