Page 22 of Ruarc
“I am sorry, mam, but I could not bear lying beneath him knowing I was not his first choice. If I get the mix wrong, it will be a quick death; if it continues on this way, a slow, miserable demise is ahead for all concerned. Please support me in this.”
My desperation is so deep that I finally see mam’s entire body wilt in acceptance, but her next words fill me with dread and renewed resolve. “What will I tell Atasha if this goes badly? She loves you, Kallen.”
“As I do her, but this is bigger than either of us. I would rather her not witness what happens when you are rejected, especially by the brother she just found.”
“I am not going to be able to talk you out of this, am I?”
“No!”
“Kallen, I will help you gather the things you need, but all I ask is that you wait until after the celebration this coming darkness. Please! Let everyone celebrate your return before you might possibly leave us again. Who knows? Something could change, and you may talk yourself out of it, or Ruarc may surprise you.”
“I am not sure what Ruarc could even say to me at this point that would change my mind. His cruel words will forever live in my thoughts, and I fear I could never trust any kindness received from him without wondering ‘what or why’?”
CHAPTER 13
RUARC
Walking further into the caverns, I try to find a quiet spot away from the overwhelming noise from this mass of beings after being on the Zenith for so many orbital rotations with just my brothers for company. Overstimulation from trying to keep up with so many conversations is causing a pounding ache behind my eyes, and it is more than my mind can take right now. The lantern I took from one of the tables lights the way as I gradually go deeper inside this large complex. Empty rooms appear from time to time, but there is no sign of who originally built this place or why.
Just as I reach an intersection, my knees buckle unexpectedly, and I barely manage to catch myself. Snarling at my sudden weakness, my claws sink deeply into the rock wall as I slowly straighten up. Rage pulses through me, and for a moment, all I see is red. Confused, I shake my head. I have no idea what triggered this sudden anger since I am alone. Taking a few deep breaths to calm my mind and body, I am suddenly struck by an odd smell.
Raising the lantern, I retrace my steps only to discover a room I initially missed. Dampness surrounds me as I venture further inside; the only sound is the splashing of my footsteps through the water covering the floor. I turn a corner and stop abruptly as the steam in the room makes it difficult to see what’s ahead. Carefully, I move forward only to find a hidden oasis. A well-placed hole in the ceiling lets in enough natural light to highlight the room, and as my eyes adjust, I cannot miss all the wild vines and flowers lining the rock walls surrounding a hot spring in the middle of the floor.
Setting the lantern down, I carefully walk forward, bending down to test the water’s temperature with my hand. Seeing that it is hot but not unbearable, I look around, wondering if Kallen and the others would enjoy this hidden retreat. I can picture the smile on her face as she surveys the natural beauty that has been hiding here all along. I can see her slipping off the wrap she’s wearing, slowly revealing the curves I long to trace with my tongue.
“Ruarc, where are you?”
My comm unit going off has me growling out loud. I turn, snatching up the lantern before stomping back out into the central passage, knowing the peace I was seeking will not be found this rising as my comm keeps dinging.
“Ruarc?”
“Frack, Slavic! What do you want?”
“Quit your snarling and get your ass back to the main sustenance area. The females have worked hard preparing this meal, and I swear you will regret it if you don’t smile and act like you appreciate it.”
“Slavic, I am not good at pretending.”
“I am not asking, I am telling. This is important to mam, and you will not darken this moment for her or the others. For frack’s sake Ruarc, the gods gave us our lifegiver back, so put your anger aside for a few minutes and think about that.”
I hit the button and cut off our comm’s before I tell Slavic to shove it up his ass. Once more, I feel my agitation rise, and I push it down, confused by my constantly shifting emotions. I am not the most jovial male in existence, but I usually have more self-control over my feelings than this.
I find myself back in the main hall sooner than I wanted and force my legs to carry me through the archway where everyone else seems to be. The moment I step through the door, my eyes find mam, and she gives me a soft smile before holding her hand out for me to come to her. “You have been gone from me long enough, young one. No more disappearing. My old hearts could not bear it if you were suddenly taken from me again.”
“Forgive me, I was exploring.”
“Is that what you call escaping or running away this rising?”
“My control is not what it has always been, mam.”
“It is because you are fighting something larger than yourself, and that something was supposed to be rejoiced in, not dreaded. Your rejection is setting things in motion that I fear will destroy you if they reach their end. But we will discuss this again later. Right now, I want to enjoy having all of you here with me once more. There may have been no reason to celebrate before, but your return has brought out the best in the females. They have all worked hard preparing dishes that many of us have not had since being on Uzrul.”
The mention of our homeworld makes me hesitate. Several questions abruptly surge through my mind. Would these survivors want to go back to Uzrul? What happened to the miners who rioted on Viri 9? I have never allowed myself to look back during all this time, but their numbers here are few, and most are females. Even though this mountain compound is safe, in a few generations, only a handful will remain. I need to talk to Slavic about our next steps, and just as I turn toward where I saw him last, I come face-to-face with Kallen.
Her long black hair is intricately braided, and her new wrap curves around her smaller frame for all to see. We both stand there in awkward silence for a moment. When I do nothing, I see sadness settle into her amber eyes, which mark her as royalty to all who recognize the signs. She looks down and turns away, shoulders slumped, and my hearts catch in my throat because all I do is cause her more pain. My hand lifts on its own, and I barely stop myself from reaching out to her.
For a moment, everything around me seems tinted red, and I feel as if my body is growing larger. A big green hand lands on my arm, and I swipe out, hitting Einars’ massive chest with my open palm, but even with my strength, I barely move him.
“Calm yourself brother, there are no threats here. Come.”
