Page 7 of Ruarc
“You all go on. I will not have any problem keeping up, but if I fall behind, do not wait for me. I will find you.”
Slavic and Ruby come up beside me slowly, his voice almost hesitant. “Kallen?”
“Slavic, I am fine. Please go on, time is wasting.”
If looks could kill, the one Slavic gives Ruarc, who is hovering right behind me, would have struck him dead on the spot. “This is a problem that needs to be addressed, brother, before it starts affecting you both negatively.”
“I did not, nor do I tell you how to live your life, Slavic, so stay out of mine.” Suddenly, I hear Ruark’s’ disk power down. “Here Kallen, take the disk. I will walk.”
“I am fine right here on my own two feet, thank you very much. There is no reason for you to hang back here with me, Ruarc.” Because I am so wrapped up in my own thoughts, I do not hear Einar or Falon leave since my ears are ringing in humiliation.
“Fine, we will both walk.”
Angry at being put in this situation, I turn on him. “Oh, quit acting chivalrous now that you know the others are watching. You do not want me, but suddenly I am not allowed out of your sight?”
“You want me to be a monster, Kallen? Then I will be.” He no more than says that when I abruptly find myself with my back against his chest. Grabbing the sack out of my hand, he reaches over one broad shoulder and shoves it down inside the larger pack on his back before wrapping his huge arms around me. They are like steel bands wrapping around my sunken abdomen, and I struggle against him as he steps onto the disk. “Stop fighting me; you are like a youngling acting a fool because she is not getting her way. You will stand in front of me, and we will search for our people together. I will not allow you to walk alone, and that has nothing to do with us being mates.”
I refuse to say another word. I simply put my feet down and try to lean away from him as far as possible. Because we are this close, he cannot block his emotions from me completely, and I can feel his own humiliation and regrets, but I push them away, not acknowledging them as I fight to calm down. I will not allow him to hurt me any further, so I simply stand there stiffly as he maneuvers us behind Slavic and Ruby. She gives me a sad smile before turning back around to talk to Slavic.
“Kallen, you can relax, I am not going to drop you.”
Can he not feel my hearts beating rapidly beneath his hand? The shallow breaths I am forcing through my lungs because my insides are in knots due to our forced bodily contact as he holds me close. Dark spots dance in front of my eyes as I try to fight off the hollowness that seems to be swallowing me from the inside out. Depression weighs me down more than anything else, and it is destroying what little soul I have left.What have I done to deserve all that I have been subjected to?
When Ruarc turns to follow Slavic further into the woods, I lay my hand upon his arm, and I feel him stiffen right before I point toward the huts. “Can we check there first?”
“We have already walked through them all and there is nothing here.”
“Maybe you did not know what to look for.”
He does not say anything else, but makes a motion for Slavic to go on, then maneuvers the disk expertly toward the huts. “Is there a specific one you want to look at?”
“The one in the back.”
Once we are closer, I can see that the front door is hanging crooked. Ruarc maneuvers us in front of the hut, sets me down, and then steps off the disk beside me. The moment our weight leaves the device, it lowers itself to the ground and shuts off to conserve its power. Walking in, I stop instantly. There are no baskets on the make-shift table, or woven blankets lying on the floor to protect my skin from the ground below. My solitary cup and basin, which I made out of clay, are broken into pieces in the corner. Everything that made this place mine is gone, but whoever removed our personal items could not have known about my secret spot behind the main wall where I hid the only treasure I have left of my family.
Ruarc stands behind me quietly, taking in the surroundings, as I kneel in one of the corners. It takes me a few tries to get the matting apart, but finally, I am able to reach between the reeds that protected me from the elements since we crashed here. Closing my eyes, I thank the Gods of Ruk for this one small thing and pull out my sire’s signet ring. Relief fills me as I slide it on my finger, only for Ruarc to reach out and grab my hand the tic he sees the ring.
“Kallen, I am …”
“Stop ... I do not need your apologies. You wanted proof. Now I have provided it. We need to find our people.”
Stepping up close to me, his large form suddenly makes the place I had called home seem much smaller. “Why was your place so far away from all the others?”
I almost do not answer him. He does not deserve the answers, but my heart is weary, and unfortunately, he is all I have right now.
“The others felt the same about me as you do and they did not want me either. No matter what I did, I had no one I could call a friend. The ironic part is I have never really fit in, either here or anywhere else, for that matter.
I did everything I could to keep from being treated differently. All I wanted was to be included, like I was one of them. Even your mam handled me like I was delicate and would break if faced with any hardship. When the fields needed tending to, they always gave me the easiest tasks, taking the baskets right out of my arms if they appeared too heavy. If I tried to help one of the others, they would quickly shoo me away.
They were partly right; I had no idea how to fight. I had never slept on the ground or worn the rags I was forced to become accustomed to. I could not fix a meal or sew. For the most part, I was a drag on the ones who were fighting to keep us alive, but I never complained. I simply stood aside, helping where I could.
When the cargo ship crashed, it took several rotations for us to regain our strength enough to move on. Your mam was still healing as she had been gravely injured before we escaped from Viri 9. The stress of having her throat cut and the severing of her mate bond forced her into premature labor and on top ofall that, she also had a broken arm. However, she was the one who pulled us all together when so many of us wanted to give up. The few males who escaped with us were older, and due to the hardships the Aynar had put them through, they were not much stronger than the females. However, their knowledge proved invaluable when it came to building these structures and providing protection. Zauz took me under his counsel, sharing his understanding of the different worlds he had visited as a young soldier.
He taught me how to weave the blankets that kept us all warm at night and the knowledge to prepare the reeds to prevent rain from seeping into our living spaces. Even though I had helped in the med bays on Viri 9, I had no real knowledge of where medicines came from. Because of my failures, he left us for the afterlife last cold season from a simple scratch that became infected.
Once we were able to build these huts, things calmed down, became more permanent and peaceful compared to the world we had escaped from. In time, it seemed like each of us found a way to contribute. Some became scouts, others would hunt, work the fields, or tend to the sick. I helped in any way I could.” I must have drifted off since my thoughts were so heavy. I jerk in surprise when Ruarc finally speaks.
“Where do you think they might have gone?”
