Page 26 of The Importance of Being Emma
He bought us both another pint and seemed to want to drop the subject. We talked about other things, mainly the local rugby scene. However, as we left the pub, he thanked me for listening and said he would take my advice and give Harriet some space.
On my way home, I could think of nothing but his rejection. I found myself stopping at Hartfield, determined to speak to Emma and discover just how much she’d been involved. When she answered the door, I ignored her invitation to come in and stayed outside in the cold.
She must have seen my grim expression in the glare of the security lighting; her eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth.
‘Oh God — something awful’s happened — it’s one of the children, isn’t it?’
‘Nothing like that,’ I said abruptly. ‘I’ve just been trying to cheer up Rob Martin.’
She said nothing, but she smiled; a little gloating smile that told me all I wanted to know.
I stared at her. ‘You were there, weren’t you, when Harriet got his note and sent back that idiotic reply?’
Her smile broadened. ‘Funny, isn’t it? A man can never understand why a woman says no, he thinks she’ll fall into bed with him — and in this case go all the way to Amsterdam to do it — just because he asks her.’
‘What a load of crap! I’m not like that for a start, and I’m positive Rob isn’t. He had every reason to think there was “a future in their relationship”, as you so coyly phrased it in that letter.’
‘You think I had something to do with her letter?’
I took a step forward, almost into the house, forcing her to retreat a little. My voice was low and menacing. ‘Didn’t you?’
She laughed. ‘What if I did? I may have done them both a favour, he’s just not good enough for her.’
‘Not good enough for her? Are you blind or stupid or what? He runs his own company, she’s a temp . . . He’s financially independent, although he chooses to live with his parents, while she can afford only a clapped-out old car and a room in someone else’s house . . . He’s well respected throughout Surrey, she’s a nonentity . . . He’s a capable and educated man, mainly self-educated which is even more to be admired, whereas I suspect she’s bordering on simple. Yes, she’s pretty and compliant, but that’s about all. Not good enough for her? Bollocks, she should be grateful he’s lowering himself to her level.’
Her eyes flashed. ‘Lowering himself? An ugly, coarse, jumped-up lorry driver wanting a relationship with a beautiful girl like Harriet? You think he’s all she should aspire to, when she’s got the potential to — to—’
‘To what? Marry Prince bloody William?’ It was my turn to laugh.
‘Stranger things have happened,’ she said loftily. ‘But she isn’t setting her sightsthathigh.’
‘And just where areyousetting her sights? If it’s Philip Elton, then, as I’ve already told you, you’re wasting your time.His choice of woman will be like his choice of career — safe and lucrative. Even if he does fancy Harriet, he’ll just use her for a quick shag, nothing more. He may talk like a romantic fool, but he’ll act like the calculating bastard he really is.’
She glared at me in silence for several seconds; when at last she spoke, her voice was soft and calm. ‘Look, I don’t know why you’re getting so wound up. I haven’t any specific man in mind for Harriet at the moment. I’m just relieved she’s seen the light about Robert Martin and I’m glad I could be of help.’ Her tone hardened. ‘But I don’t agree with your description of her, it’s unflattering and unrealistic. She’s actually the type of woman that would suit most men down to the ground. How did you put it? Pretty and compliant. In other words, good to look at and take to bed, but no threat to the male ego. You know, if you and Tamara ever broke up, you could do worse than go out with Harriet yourself.’ She smiled sweetly and went to shut the door in my face.
I wedged it open with my foot and grabbed hold of the door knocker to steady myself. I was breathing hard and fast, as if I’d just run a marathon.
‘I’m telling you, you should have left well alone. You’re trying to make her into something she’s not and never will be. For God’s sake, Emma, sometimes I wonder if you’ve even got the sense you were born with!’
Her lip curled. ‘I’m afraid we’ll just have to agree to differ on this one. I’m sure your friend Robert will get over it sooner than you think.’
Something snapped inside me. ‘You don’t seem to realise that you’re pissing about with a man’s heart — do you know what the fuck one is?’
There was an insolent glint in her eye. ‘A man — or a heart?’
‘Both!’ I turned on my heel and stormed off.
Behind me, the front door slammed. I got into the car, leaned my arms on the steering wheel and rested my head on them, briefly. Then I straightened up, started the engine and drove home.
* * *
~~EMMA~~
I lay in bed, drained but unable to sleep, thinking about what Mark had said. I’d only ever heard him swear like that when he was almost beside himself with rage. Until tonight, however, I’d never been the target for one of his rare outbursts.
I knew I had nothing to reproach myself for. But I felt so miserable. Sort of incomplete. A jigsaw with one piece missing, the Mark-shaped one that didn’t quite fit, yet somehow belonged.
We’d had our falling-out moments, of course. Particularly when he’d discovered my teenage crush on him, all those years ago.
