Page 39 of Fight for Me
“Do you love him?” he asked finally, and Lexie felt her whole body lock up.
“I don’t know,” she said, wishing she had a better answer. “I don’t think I know what love looks like.”
Jake swallowed hard. “Maybe you’re not looking in the right places,” he said.
For just a moment, Lexie let herself get lost in his eyes the way she’d always known she could. He was hiding nothing from her. There were no pretenses, no qualifiers, no fences erected to keep her out, and something in the back of her mind recognized how precious that was.
Jake must have realized it too because he stepped back, disentangling their fingers in a way that left her oddly chilled. He held her gaze for another second, looking away as the speakers above their heads began to chime the hour. The pre-recorded music was deafening by proximity, and Lexie suddenly realized life was moving on without her far below.
“I’m late,” she said, sure he couldn’t hear, but she grabbed her bag and darted toward the stairwell all the same. Her first steps on the old staircase were hesitant as something inside her urged her to stay, but soon she was flying down as fast as her feet would carry her.
Jake watched thestaircase door shut behind Lexie as the sound of the bells faded, and he let his eyes drift closed. He felt raw, like every nerve had been torn from his body and put on display.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Why had he said all those things? Here he was, the guy who couldn’t take no for an answer, who brought her sad little presents like a magpie and took advantage of her vulnerability to lay his heart at her feet.
What had he been thinking?
He turned and braced both hands on the windowsill, taking one shaky breath after another and trying not to dwell on how warm she’d felt nestled against him in that exact spot not two minutes before. It didn’t matter that she’d fit perfectly. It didn’t matter if some instinct said she was made for him. None of it mattered if she chose someone else, someone who wasn’t nearly good enough for her.
Jake didn’t feel good enough either, but at least he wouldtry.
When his heart finally slowed to an acceptable pace, he knelt to pack his gear. He folded the tripod and secured the legs, counted his memory cards and tucked them away, replaced the lens caps and wiped down the camera body. But he was in no hurry to leave. The downstairs door had locked behind Lexie as she fled, and he was safe in his fortress of solitude. At least up here, high in the sky, he could avoid the inevitable repercussions for a while longer.
Killing time, he flipped the Canon on with his thumb, watching the screen turn white as it powered up. He scrolled through the most recent set of photos, and images from the quad below passed in quick succession as he looked for the shots he wanted.
At the end of the series, he found Lexie. He’d photographed her even before she’d realized he was watching. She looked anxious and withdrawn, like a turtle hiding inside its shell. The images were crystal clear, and the pain on her face made his heart ache all over again.Thiswas what Colt did to her. This was what it looked like when an amazing woman felt worthless.
His stomach tightened, and his hands clenched reflexively. What Colt needed was a good beating. And maybe a few red-hot knitting needles stuck in memorable places.
Jake flipped through the images that followed, watching Lexie look at her phone and smile.Thatwas because of him.
The very last picture, the one where she’d found him at last, showed her looking straight up into the camera, her face a mix of surprise and amusement. She’d been glad to see him. Maybe even excited.Hehad put that light in her eyes.
Jake studied the image for a long time, wondering if Lexie would ever look at him that way again.
8
“Lexie, are youout there?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Can you come here, please?”
Lexie pushed back from her desk and made her way toward her boss’s office, stopping short in the doorway.
“Take a seat,” Julie said, and Lexie sank slowly into one of the cushioned chairs on the nearside of the desk, trying to hide her nerves. Julie was an amazing boss, the kind interns everywhere hoped to have, but she was also an uncompromising editor with a vicious red pen. Lexie’s work often looked like it had been bled upon by a small animal, a sight she had a hard time getting used to.
“I realized recently that you and I have never taken time to chat about your career goals,” Julie explained before taking a sip from her cup of coffee. “What are your plans after graduation?”
Lexie took a slow breath, biting the inside of her lip. She hated this question, mostly because she never had a good answer. Ifshe did what everyone else wanted, she’d be hosting an endless number of charity dinners. If she did what she wanted... Well, she didn’t know what that was yet.
“My father has mentioned a job opening in the research office at Vanderbilt. I would be drafting information about new drugs and protocols, describing them in layman’s terms,” she said.
“I see. And is that something you feel passionate about?” Julie asked, her head cocked as she watched Lexie intently.
Lexie got the feeling she didn’t miss much.
