Page 21 of Hat Trick
"I haven't slept that well in... well I don't know how long." He murmurs.
I'm afraid to move, afraid of saying the wrong thing and breaking this heavenly little cocoon we've made together.
"I've never..." I stutter, not wanting to admit how much of a loser I was. "I've never slept in the same bed as a man."
He groans and buries his face in my hair, kissing the back of my head affectionately. "I find that hard to believe. Didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend before?"
"Yeah, but I never spent the night."
"How long were you together?"
"Two years."
The silence is unbearable. I can hear him breathing. I can hear me breathing. I can hear the unspoken questions like 'why did you never spend the night?' and 'how serious were you?' and 'why was your ex so ashamed of you he never let you spend the night, so you never got to meet his roommates?' I cringe at that last one because that one came from me.
"Maybe we should add cuddle buddy to your job description. I could get used to this."
I giggle. I'm relieved and a little bit giddy that he's playing this entire situation so cooly. And I love the idea that this may become a more regular thing. Platonic friends can take naps together, right? Itwouldn't be weird at all if Carter was like my best friend from High School. We would nap together all the time.
"Sleepisimportant for recovery." I tease. "I might need a raise, though, if we're adding responsibilities."
He laughs. It's a deep, sexy, rumbling sound that causes his chest to vibrate against my back. He rolls over onto his back and stretches, groaning. "You were asleep! You didn't even do anything." He teases back. I take the opportunity to roll over and take him in. God, he's gorgeous. His dirty blonde hair is mussed, and there's a light stubble of beard growth I want to run my tongue over. Facing the ceiling and smiling, his dimples are out in full force and he's a work of art.
"It's not about job performance, it's about results. And you're welcome." I reply. A comfortable silence settles between us before I blurt out the next thing on my mind. "You don't sleep well?"
He frowns. "No. I just have so much on my plate. Between practices, getting older, games. As Captain I feel responsible for the entire team. Not just the starters, but theentireteam. Shit, I feel responsible for the staff, too. If we have a shitty season, less people show up to the games, less money comes in to the team and people may lose their jobs. Their livelihoods." He runs a finger up and down his forehead, his eyes closed. "As Captain, I feel responsible for my teammates wellbeing. Their health, their fitness, their morale. Shit, sometimes I feel like I give more dating or relationship advice than hockey advice. But if my guys are happy and healthy they play better. They play better, we win more games. We win more games; more people get to keep their jobs."
"And it keeps you up at night." I finish for him.
He turns to me. "Yeah. Then you add my family bullshit and it's just..."
"It's a lot. And now you're a father. So, you have Annie to worry about, too."
He groans at the reminder. "Honestly? She's the person I care about most. I'm just..." he sighs like he's wearing the weight of the world on his shoulders. "I'm terrified I can't do it all. That if I'm the dad she deserves, I'll let the team down. If I'm the Captain the team deserves, I'll let her down."
I consider his words. I've never been a parent, or a team Captain. I've never had the type of stress and responsibility he's had. I could never imagine the pressure he's under. But I do know I can help.
I reach out and grab the hand that's rubbing his forehead and tell him that. "You have a lot on your plate. And you want to do right by everyone. I get it. But you're not alone. Gabe and Luca can help you take care of your team. Lean on them. They'd do anything for you. Not sure either one is a good source of dating advice..." I say smiling. "And I'm here to help you with Annie. You don't have to be wonder dad. Lean on me. I'm here to make sure Annie has everything she needs to be happy and healthy." I purse my lips. "Your team, and Annie, and your family all need a Carter who is taken care of. You're so busy taking care of everyone else. Who is taking care of you?"
He turns to stare at me. His face is still a little puffy from sleep, but he's devastatingly handsome. His mouth is slightly open though, and he has a subtle look of shock on his face.
I reach my hand and place it against his chest. "You have people. You have Gabe and Luca and me. Let us take care of you."
He closes his eyes as if he's in pain before grabbing my hand and pressing my palm to his lips. An army of butterflies kicks up low in my belly.
"Thank you," he whispers, his eyes still closed.
I look away, the moment too intense. I check the time on my phone from the nightstand and see we have about half an hour before Annie usually wakes. Just enough time to shower and get some coffee. Suddenly, wanting something to do with my hands, I grab the baby monitor and head for the bathroom.
"Emily." The gravel in his voice sends a shiver down my spine and makes my nipples tight. I keep my body turned away from him, hoping he can't see. I stare at the baby monitor to avoid the intense look into his handsome face. He simply takes the monitor from my hand. "I got her. Go do your thing while I make some coffee."
A feeling warms my chest.
"Thank you."
Chapter twelve
Gabe
