Page 65 of Hat Trick
"You didn't ask. And Carter? I'm not taking 'no' for an answer. I have one of your hockey sticks. We'll be fine. Please. Trust me."
I know I'm asking a lot. This is Carter. Carter, who thrives on control. Who manages everyone and everything. The protector. The man who takes care of everyone else in his life. And right now, he's feeling out of control. He can't take care of me or his mom or Annie from where he is. I know it's killing him. But I don't have the right words to reassure him.
"Fuck it, I'm getting a commercial flight home."
"Carter. Stop. Getting a commercial flight will take just as long. I doubt there are many flights leaving in the next hour for Charleston, and then you're still a two-hour drive. Please. You have to trust me on this. I will keep them safe."
"And you? Who will keep you safe? Emily....if something happens to you..." His voice cracks, and my heart aches for him. "No." He clears his throat. "Absolutely not. I'm calling Siobhan. She has to know who the Titans use for personal security. I'll get her to post a guard outside the door."
"Okay, baby," I soothe. "If that will make you feel better. But please. There's nothing you can do for us tonight. Go to the hotel, rest, relax, and come home to us fresh tomorrow. Your mother will needyou on your A game to help her figure out what the next phase of her life looks like, okay?"
Chapter thirty-seven
Emily
Isneak into my old room and grab Annie before she wakes Nancy up. I can't imagine what Nancy is going through. How heartbroken she must be. To think that the love of her life changed so much over so many years. If he'd simply died one day, she'd be heartbroken, but she'd have the time and space to grieve and process everything. Right now, she's grieving the death of a man whose body is still very much alive. And possibly looking for her.
I busy myself in the kitchen, brewing a pot of coffee and cutting up some bananas for Annie. This kid can eat her own body weight in bananas. I make a mental note to do some research on child nutrition for a one year old.
The boys will be home around 10, and I'm sure Carter is going to want to see his mom.
Just then, my bedroom door squeaks open and Nancy shuffles out barefoot. She looks even smaller wearing Carter's large clothes. We need to take her shopping for her own clothes, so she doesn't have to go back to her piece of shit husband. I understand addiction isn't a choice, but domestic abuse absolutely is.
"Good morning, Nancy. Coffee?"
She gives me a shy smile and nods her head. She runs her hand along Annie's hair and gives her a kiss on the head. "Na-na." Annie coos and Nancy's once haunted face lights up brighter than the sun.
I smile at her as I put the milk back in the fridge. "We've been working on it for a while now, since that's what you decided youwanted to be called. I'll bring up a picture of you and repeat 'Nana' over and over again until she started saying it, too. I wanted it to be a surprise."
In a flash Nancy's pulled me into her arms and sobs quietly onto my shoulder. I'm taken aback for the briefest of seconds before I return her hug. She holds me, quietly sobbing until Annie coos, "Na-na. Em-ma."
Nancy releases me and I scoop Annie up into the air and spin her around. "Yes, smart girl! Nana and Emma!" She squeals in unadulterated joy and something settles in my chest. This is where I'm meant to be. This is what I'm meant to do. This is home. These people are my home.
I check the clock. It's 9:30. I stayed awake most of last night listening to the storm rage against the siding and windows and worrying about this next step with Nancy. I want her to finally let Carter love her the way he needs to. To set her up financially, to retire her, to set her up in a house nearby so she can see them as much as she likes. But Nancy has been fiercely independent for most of her life, and I'm worried she's going to say 'no'. I'm also worried, that if she does fully retire, will Carter need me anymore? He could pay her to nanny Annie. It would make the most sense. But it does make me feel like a bit of an outsider.
The bottom line is what's the best for Annie and Carter, and Nancy.
"Nancy, Carter will be here soon and there's something I want to talk to you about."
"You love him."
I stutter in my step into the dining room and choke on nothing. That's not what I was expecting, but I guess we're having this conversation first.
I set Annie down by her toys and sit on the couch.
I look Nancy in the eye before responding. "I do. I do love him. And Luca and Gabe. We're all, kind of, together."
She watches me as she sips her coffee and I can't remember a time I've ever been this nervous.
Finally she responds with a nod. "Good. I like you for them."
"Good? That's it? No name calling or threats?"
"Name calling? Who do you think I am? I told Carter the first day I met you that I wanted you for him. I wanted someone who would love him for who he is, not the money or the fame he has. Someone who clearly loves his daughter as much as he does." She lets out a weary sigh. "I want butterflies for him. I want romance and first date jitters. I want dancing in the kitchen at 3am for him."
What she used to have.
I reach over and hold her hand in mine. I know she'll be hurting for a long time, but hopefully knowing Carter is happy will help ease some of her pain.
