Page 46 of Power Play
The hair on the back of my arms stands on end, and I can feel the familiar prickle of fight or flight.
"Eyes on me, darling," he growls lowly. I look up at him instantly. My body's learned she gets rewarded when she obeys Scott, and like the greedy animal she is, she's eager to do so.
"She doesn't know. She has her suspicions, but she doesn't know. And even if she did, who cares? She can't get to you. And if she starts poking around our house, I'll hire you security."
I look down in shame. This overwhelming feeling that I'll never be able to escape her weighs me down.
I'd tried therapy once. She'd asked me what I was afraid of, but the list is so long it's overwhelming to even digest. People are afraid of spiders. They're afraid of looking dumb in front of friends or breaking up with a girlfriend. If I had those simple fears, my life would be a million times easier.
Shame and fear were equal dance partners in my fucked-up life. What I was ashamed of, though, I didn't know. Just the same way I knew everything I was afraid of.
But Scott's looking at me, waiting for me to respond. But I don't know what to say. He makes everything sound so easy, so simple. But my life is anything but.
I lie awake at night wondering if we should have reported Tracey. If it would be selfish or protecting myself. What would have happened if Scott hadn't noticed right away? I'd brought a predator to his door, and he'd been sexually assaulted because of me.
We've talked about it in depth. After another marathon session, we sat in bed like we did in the hotel and talked like best friends. I love that about him. I love that about us. He said he was fine. That nothing happened, and that more than anything, he was angry on my behalf. But it still doesn't sit well with me.
I reach out and squeeze his hand again. "I just really want this meeting to go well. I'm worried I'll be fired, or that the team will see me differently? Lose respect for me? Lose their trust in me?"
I can tell he wants to touch me, to hold me, kiss me, press me against the wall like we had in Vancouver, but I was clear about not wanting PDA at work, and he's respecting my wishes. There aren't cameras in my office, but there are in the elevator. And I love him even more for it.
I squeeze his hand again, but drop it quickly as the elevator car stops and the doors open.
"You might not know this about me yet, but I will never let anything bad happen to you."
I look up at him and see the firm set of his jaw, the furrowed brow. I know he believes he'd never let anything happen to me. But if I know anything, it's that there are no guarantees in life. He can want to protect me, but he may not be able to.
Not from what I know is coming.
Chapter twenty-four
Scott
God, I hate her no PDA rule. There's so much I want to do to her. I want to steal her away and make love to her again and again until she no longer doubted who she belonged to. Who she is to me.
I don't believe in love at first sight. I never have. But I believe you can choose love. And choose the right partner for you. Lacey has all the qualities that make a woman amazing - drive, passion, dedication, work ethic, honesty, integrity. Everything my ex didn't.
And yet I sit here and see her nerves. Her insecurities. Insecurities that I'm sure are earned.
I wish she would walk into this meeting, head held high like the Queen I know she is, and put everyone in their place. But I also remember being her age and cutting my teeth in the NHL and needing to prove myself. I remember wanting the coach to like me so I wouldn't get traded, to putting in the extra gym time and reps to ensure I was the best.
I understand how she's feeling right now, and I’m torn between wanting to protect her, and our babies, from any threat, and wanting to encourage her to own her power. It's an odd feeling, and definitely more than enough to put me off kilter walking into this meeting I requested.
We're still in the first trimester, so it's early to announce her pregnancy, but the sooner the management and the entire team know, the better. We can make arrangements for her, new rules to ensure she's comfortable.
I open the conference room door for her, to see Craig, Karen from HR, and Siobhan already seated at the table, and Ben and Garrett standing against the far wall, talking in low voices to each other.
I pull out a seat and gesture for Lacey to sit, before taking the seat next to her.
I level every person in this room with a stare that says, "this is serious," and begin. "I've asked you all here today to discuss something very important." I grab Lacey's hand under the table for reassurance. "Lacey, Ben, Garrett, and I are in a relationship."
Craig levels me with a glare. I nod back. He'll want more details over drinks. My nod says he'll get them.
"It will not affect any of our work, and there's no HR policy against it." I nod to Siobhan. "But we wanted management to know in case anything goes public." I nod at Ben and Garrett. "And for the sake of the team, I'd like to tell them right after this meeting."
Craig and Karen are silent, but Siobhan speaks up. "So, are you all with each other, or is it more like Carter, where you're all with her?"
"What are they putting in the water here?" Karen whispers under her breath.
