Page 55 of Power Play
He smiles sleepily at me. "You're pretty."
I can't help my smile. I help him maneuver around so he's lying on his stomach with his right arm hanging off of it. He's a big guy, and I'm strong, but I'm going to have gravity help me.
"Benjamin and Lacey, sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..." Ben sings above me, and I can't help but chuckle.
"You know I love you, right?"
Ben turns his face so he's looking at me, his cheek squished against the table. "Always have." It's our little back-and-forth we did as kids.
"Good. Remember that while I do this."
I sit on the floor, grab Ben's arm by the wrist and elbow, and gently apply more and more pressure downwards until his humerus pops back into the joint. Ben roars his disapproval. The sound of his pain makes my stomach sick.
"Alright, baby. Think we could get you into an ice bath? I think it's the best way to prevent swelling."
"Will you be there with me?"
"Of course, sweetheart."
I untie and pull off his skates, unwrap the tape around his shin guards, pull off his shin guards, stinky socks, pants and jock. Jesus, these guys have a ton of gear. It must take them forever to put it all on and pull it all back off again.
I hold his left hand as he rises, in only his boxers, and gently lead him towards the ice bath room. He's wobbly on his feet but follows me willingly. It feels like a symbolic moment in our relationship. He'svulnerable, injured, and willing to follow me anywhere. The trust and the loyalty this man has in me chokes me up. I shake my head and focus on getting him healed.
The ice baths had been prepped in advance since a lot of the guys like to use them for recovery after a game, and luckily, we're the only ones in here.
"Oh, bright," Ben groans when I flip the lights on. I flip them right off again.
"Alright, baby, let’s get you in quick, and I'll sit here with you. I'll set a timer." He groans and shivers as he steps in, his injured arm tucked tight against his body.
Once he's in, I pull a rolling chair from a nearby PT station and sit gratefully in it. My first trimester fatigue is gone and I'm fully into my second trimester, but the adrenaline of watching the love of my life get hurt so badly has me tired to my bones.
I roll up next to him and rest my face against his sweaty hair.
"You know it's okay, right?" Ben asks me after a moment.
I lift my head and run my fingers through his sweaty hair. "What's okay?"
"If you love them, too."
My hand freezes. We haven't even gotten a chance to sit down and talk about what this is. What we are. What me and the other guys are. We found out I was pregnant, any of them could be the father, and then all moved in together. The other guys want a shot at a relationship. But we never discussed what that meant for us. Ben loves me, and I love him.
"B..." I sigh. "I don't know which way is up anymore. I'm pregnant with twins and living with three men who all sort of accept me, andthis, and want some version of a relationship with me. It's all so out of control and you know I hate that...so I'm just taking it one day at a time. I just... hope you're patient with me."
I'm too tired to lie or sugarcoat anything. It's the raw and honest truth.
I am overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. I'm out of control. My body's not my own anymore. The two little souls I have in my belly give me morning sickness and fatigue. My body's changing. And I already have lost strength in my own workouts. If I let myself dwell on it, I'll freak out. So, I've been putting one foot in front of the other. It's all I can manage right now. I'm sure tonight I'll freak out and spiral about Ben getting injured, and how Jonesy could, or how Scott could get into a car accident tomorrow and die and what that would mean for me and our babies, but right now I have a patient in front of me. That's what I'm focusing on.
The game must have ended, and we must have won, because excited, celebratory voices come down the hall and a few moments later the lights pop on. Ben winces and I throw my upper half over him.
"Hey guys, can we do lights off? Ben's got a nasty concussion and the lights and noise hurt right now." I say, protecting my man.
"Oh shit," someone whispers, turning the lights back off. A handful of players shuffle around quietly, each coming to pat Ben on the shoulder in solidarity and get in their own ice baths.
The love and respect these players have for each other moves me. I've never been part of a team, especially a team that feels like family. These aren't just players, they're brothers, and Scott feels like the team dad. I smile at that thought.
Ben turns towards me and grips my hand in his. "I mean it. I know I've always loved you and want a happily ever after with you. But if that includes two more guys who can spoil you... I think you deserve it. You've put up with enough shit in your life. You deserve the good."
Chapter thirty-one
