Page 64 of Power Play
There's a random woman throwing dresses at me. She's in her late fifties, but thin, dressed like a playboy bunny and has wispy pink hair.
We're at the White Chapel Inn, and there are hundreds of wedding dresses to choose from. From a deep-seated knowledge, I know it actually doesn't matter. It's a logistics issue so that Garrett gets his mother's inheritance, but I guess I underestimated what a wedding was. It's a lot. It's rings and vows and dresses, and paperwork.
I try on another dress. It doesn't fit, but the random woman pins some things at my back to make it fit. It's a sweetheart neckline and a flowy skirt. I don’t know if I would have picked it for my dream wedding, but I have to admit I look good in it.
Ben tumbles through the curtain and pauses as he looks at me. "Fuck me, L, you look beautiful."
"Are you sure? Are you really, really sure?" I ask him, desperate for validation that this crazy idea is okay. I don't care if I'm pretty. I need to know that he's okay with me marrying someone else. I love Ben. I always have and a part of me always will. The idea that me marrying someone else could hurt him guts me and I need the reassurance that this won't change anything.
He steps into my space and holds my face. "L, we never talked about marriage. Marrying you was never a fantasy of mine. Would I love to marry you? Fuck yes. But will I be heartbroken if you marry Garrett? Absolutely not. What I want is you, in any and every way you'll have me. I want you and those babies, and if that package includes Coachand Jonesy, I'm in." He gives a shy chuckle. "I'm not sure if you've noticed but I'm kind of crazy about you. And if that means letting two other men love you, I'm still in."
It can't be that simple, right? I don't get to give this to Garrett and have it not blow up in my face, right?
But I put on my brave face and square my shoulders. With Ben at my back, I feel like I can accomplish anything. Ben's unwavering love, Scott's unwavering protection and support. I feel deep in my bones this is the right move. It's a way to show Garrett how much I care about him, and how much he is a part of this family.
His asshole of a father doesn't deserve a penny of his mother's legacy and doesn't get to win when it comes to manipulating Garrett.
I want to tell him that.
"Can you get the groom?" I ask Ben. I'm desperate to talk to Garrett, but stupidly, I know, I want to maintain tradition. Actual intent of marriage? Who cares? Random superstition about the groom seeing the bride before the wedding? Super important. Yeah, I don't get it either.
Ben finds Garrett and leads him to the dressing room but sets it up so we're talking on either side of an open door, where we can't see each other.
"Garrett, I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that I'm happy to marry you, and put your name on the birth certificate, even if you want nothing to do with me or the babies. It's fucking unfair, the position you've been put in and I won't stand for it. I'm happy to help you because I can, but if that's as far as you want to take this, I understand."
The response I get is not the one I expect. "Woman," he chuckles softly and in my mind, I can see him shaking his head. "Never in a million years did I think I would ever get married, let alone to someone as perfect as you. I'm a fuck up, a playboy, an asshole on a good day. I don't deserve you, but I'm selfish enough to marry you. And..." he pauses, clearly working through his emotions. "If you're patient with me, I promise to try...to try to earn you every day for the rest of my life. I know...I know I'm out of my element and not sure how to do this but..." He swallows, then, loudly and from my side of the door I can see Ben give him an encouraging nod. "But I think you're the most wonderful woman I've ever met, and I can't believe you're willing to give me the honor of being my wife."
I look at Ben wide-eyed, emotions clogging my throat and tears threatening to spill. Jonesy must take my silence as something bad because I hear a whispered, "Did I fuck that all up?" to Ben. Ben slaps a hand on Jonesy's shoulder and beams at him like he's proud of him.
"She's not great with direct declarations of emotions. It scares her, but you...you knocked it out of the park. Well done, brother."
Okay, now tears really do fall. Watching my men support each other is another level of this amazing relationship.
"Garrett," I whisper, caught between dueling desires. I want to hold him, to squeeze him and tell him I think I might be falling for him. I also want to maintain this superstition. Really, I want to see his face when he sees me for the first time, hopefully, looking really damn pretty. I never wear makeup at work, or out with the group. I wear my hair up 99% of the time. I make active moves to be less noticeable. And it doesn't take a therapist to figure out why. If Tracey doesn't notice me, she can't fuck up my life.
But the Little White Chapel has a makeup artist and hair stylist, and my eyes are looking extra big, my lips are painted - still neutral, mind you - and my hair is half up, half down, in big, beautiful waves.
But for a moment I can forget about Tracey, and why I dress down, and all of the horrors waiting for me back in Charleston. Right now, I'm a woman who wants to feel pretty on her wedding day.
I reach my hand around the door in hopes he'll hold it. He doesn't disappoint. His big, warm, calloused hand holds mine and I give it a squeeze.
"I know life hasn't been kind to you, but I promise I always will be. I will be as patient as you need, because you deserve it. You're a good man, Garrett."
He squeezes my hand back. And with that, we hear Coach's deep voice bellowing. "Five minutes!"
The Little White Chapel is busy for obvious reasons, so they run on a tight schedule. Garrett leaves to what I assume is the altar and Ben grips me on my upper arms, jumping a little.
"I think you're more excited about this than I am," I grumble a little, letting the nerves show.
He pulls me in and wraps me in a familiar bear hug. "Number one, I never thought I'd be a maid of honor and I'm fucking stoked. Two, you're getting Jonesy out of a shitty situation, and I've never been more proud of you. Three...shit, babe, I dunno. You're getting married!"
I smile, grateful I have someone excited about this. I stare up into Ben's whiskey brown eyes and wonder how I got so lucky. I'll dwell on that later, right now I want to absorb some of his excitement.
I smile. "Let's get married!"
Chapter thirty-seven
Garrett
