Page 9 of Power Play
"Why?" He asks back, his voice threatening to break.
"I'm just starting my career, Ben. The thing I've worked so hard to studying and prepare for? I can't risk getting distracted now. And I..."I have trust issue., I don't know who you are anymore. I've had enough of being vulnerable. I can't risk another heartbreak. We work together. Fucking choose a reason.
I can feel my walls breaking. I can feel myself wanting to pull him into my arms and act as if the last eight years never happened and pick up where we left off. So I stop and turn towards him. If he pushes, I'll give in. I need to set the line in the sand now.
"Look, Ben. You know I love you. I'll always love you. But this is my first year in a job in the career field I've spent so long working towards."The training for which took me away from youI want to say. "I just moved to a new town, I'm setting up a new apartment... Tracey's here... I just... " I run my hand through my hair, a tell he knows well. "I just need to focus on getting my life in order and my career off on the right foot. I'm sorry, Ben, but I just don't have time to date right now."
The smile he gives me is soft and has Ben the Boy written all over it. But there's a gleam in his eye that is indecent, and all Ben the Man.
"A couple of us are headed up to a cabin this weekend. We have three days off. We won't get another three-day weekend until after playoffs. Come with us."
The change in conversation shakes me. I shift my weight. My feet and my head hurt.
"I don't know."
"It'll give you a chance to get to know some of the players outside of the exam room. They'll get a chance to know you on a more personal level. Trust me, it'll only help them trust you and like you sooner. Drink a beer, play some card games, show them you can hang."
Shit, he's not wrong. The Titans spend more time with each other than they do their wives and families. The Titans are a family. They travel together, eat together, work out together, play together, win together, lose together, and every staff member has a role in helping the players succeed... or lose. When I interviewed with the GM, he talked about how every staff member owns an oar on this ship we call the Titans. One person not pulling their weight could mean the early end to a season. I love that aspect of professional sports. I love feeling a part of something bigger than one person alone.
Hanging out, sharing some beers, showing them I'm relatable is a good idea. If I can kick this sinus infection, I just might.
"Yeah, I'll think about it. I'm still recovering from a cold."
Ben grins and I can't help the tiny tug on the corner of my lips in reply. God, he's gorgeous. He nods and smiles like he won the lottery. He's going to try to wear me down. And maybe in a few months, when I've hit my groove, I just might let him.
Chapter six
Ben
I'm trying not to smell her.
I'm trying not to notice the fine hairs on the back of her neck, or how soft her skirt looks. I'm definitely not trying to think about how close my cock is to her pussy and how desperately it wants to come home.
We all carpooled into two SUVs. We had the numbers perfect, until Tracey invited herself and we were all too polite to decline. One too many people. It didn't make sense to have someone drive solo. So, it was agreed someone would sit on someone's lap. Tommy, or Thompson, offered to sit on mine, which I declined, which gave Tracey the opportunity to volunteer. But before she could, I grabbed Lacey and pulled her onto me. It's kind of a tight fit with Tommy and Caleb next to us in the back seat. Jonesy's driving with Tracey in the passenger seat.
I'm either a genius or an idiot. The verdict is still out.
Everything's fine. I'm fine. We're fine. I can do this. I'm a man of complete and utter self-control.
Until Jonesy turns down a dirt road.
Lacey leans her back against my chest to gain some traction, so she doesn't hit her head on the ceiling, but the added weight and heat drive me nuts.
I take deep, controlled breaths to try to calm myself down, but it's sensory overload. Her hair is in my face, her body heat is warming mychest. The woman of my dreams, the one I thought got away, is pressed against me inch for inch from neck to knees.
I wrap my arms around her to try to be her seat belt, but all I can think about is how I'd like to hold her like this in my bed.
Another jostle of the car and my hands instinctively go to her hips to keep her steady. Another bad idea. I feel myself getting harder and harder. I try to slide her down my lap so she can't feel it, but it's no use.
I know the second she feels it. Her breath hitches and she squirms, as if she's trying to confirm what she's feeling.
"I'm so sorry," I whisper into the shell of her ear.
She shrugs, still looking ahead. "You can't help it. It's biology. I understand."
It's not biology, it's her. But I'm too embarrassed to speak.
I close my eyes and try to think about literally anything else, but the road is littered with potholes and every tiny shift or movement from Lacey rubs against my aching cock and sends a jolt of pleasure through me.
