Page 19 of Royce
“I already made my mind up cousin. You ain’t got to like it but it’s going to happen so…”
The things Cojak did leading up to this moment proved how selfish he was and how he only cared when things benefited him. It wasfigure it outbefore but now he was making sure we were straight. I truly didn’t understand him anymore. He was treating us like pieces to his game and I didn’t like that one bit.
“Cousin, please, please, please don’t let that man embarrass you for the hundredth time. I can’t stop you from going but at least keep it real with him this time. You don’t need him for real. Don’t even thank that nigga for paying the damn bills. That’s what the fuck he’s supposed to do.” Seri was giving it to me raw, and I thanked her for that ‘cause it was what I needed.
Many times, I forgave Cojak and swept the bullshit under the rug. This time he was going to clean this up himself. Me and our kids were worth more than a few grand and a few bills paid. He owed us so much more than that starting with some damn respect.
“I’m good cousin. That nigga can’t hurt me more than he already has. I’ll call you after I leave from up there. I’m about to go deposit this money and then go to the house. I’m a little sore from all this ripping and running.”
“Alright. I love you and remember, it ain’t shit for you to be thanking him for. You can tell him I said that!”
Shaking my head, I disconnected the call and headed to the house instead. I passed the bank going to the jailhouse and would do it then. I really was tired and needed to rest. My ankles and knees felt as if they could give out at any given second.
Dressed in a cute pair of cargo shorts that stopped right below my knees and a top that showed off my daughter, I walked into the visiting room with one thing on my mind. Cojak thought throwing money at me would erase the things he did, but it would never be that easy. He showed me on one too many occasions that we weren’t of priority. He had some explaining to do.
I felt better today than I had in a long time. After I went home and rested for a little, I was in a better mood. I was thinking clearer, and my attitude had settled. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t wake up thinking the worse. My time for thinking I was the only woman that could hold him down was over. Clearly it was someone else that could do the same.
Cojak was used to seeing me with lines of worry etched across my face. However, today, I wasn’t giving him the satisfaction. Me and my kids were good so there was nothing to complain about… other than him fuckin’ with my goddamn feelings.
Taking a seat at the table, the first thing out his mouth was, “The fuck you smiling for? Yo’ nigga in jail and all you can do is smile?”
“If I knew you was going to act like this, I wouldn’t have come. Shit, if I knew you was going to act like this, I would’ve left the money where I found it.”
“Hold up, hold up, hold up. What fuckin’ money? You got some bread and ain’t did shit for me yet?” Cojak was loud with not a care in the world about how he was speaking to me. His words were alerting though. He was playing as if he didn’t have a clue as to where the money came from.
“Oh, Cojak please. I know it was you that went and paid all the bills because you fucked up. You can stop with this tough guy act. I was with you for years, remember?” I threw back at him.
I didn’t understand why he was putting on for these niggas in here. Taking care of home was what real men did. Feeling shameful behind that was crazy to me. You earned more respect when you had your priorities straight. Yeah nigga, you cheated, but at the end of the day, those kids were his, too. If he wanted to fuck me over, cool… but my kids deserved the best.
“I ain’t gave you shit, and you know that. How much is it, Klarity?” he questioned sitting up.
“Five grand,” I answered confusingly. I was sure it was him finally putting his pride to the side and stepping up. It had to be… right?
“Put that shit on my books then,” he demanded. His eyes lit up like fireworks when he heard the amount.
“Seriously Cojak, you didn’t handle the bills and throw me some bread?” I needed him to repeat it for my sake. I had to hear him say it again for it to register.
“Why the fuck would I give you some money, Klarity, when I’m the one that’s locked up? That shit don’t even sound right. Look, put like four grand on my books and do what you got to do for the kids with the last band.” He was trying to make that shit sound sweet, but I knew better. I’d wash my car with a toothbrush and eight ounce bottle of water before I do anything else for him.
“Tuh! I’d be a fool to make sure you straight and my kids not when you’re the reason I was in the hole the way I was. Every dime you had left over from the streets, you made me put it on your books. All my checks went to your books. The money your mama had put up for you went to your books, now you think I’m ‘bout to take this bread and give it to you, too, when Essence doesn’t have shit yet. You a selfish ass bitch!” I shouted.
This time around, I didn’t give a fuck who heard me or what they said. I was tired and at my wits end with being disrespected, neglected, and disregarded. I wasn’t some weak ass yes bitch, and I damn sure didn’t want the daughter I was about to raise to think I was.
I allowed him to get off the way he did because our kids played a huge factor. I always wanted them to have everything I didn’t, and a two-parent household was at the top of my list. They were innocent and new to a life they had no clue could either make or break them. They had one protector, and I refused to give up my title.
“I got two years to do in this muthafucka, Klarity. Put the fuckin’ money on the books!” he shouted again. He wasn’t letting up.
“Why? You done found you a butt buddy in here or something? What? He promised he’d take care of you if you took care of him?” I taunted.
He reached across the table and wrapped his hands around my throat. I guess he didn’t like me insinuating he was gay. I couldn’t think of any other reason as to why he needed so much goddamn money on his books. He was in jail where shit didn’t cost but a few dollars. I was thoroughly confused on what the fuck he was doing with it.
“Aye nigga, I ain’t ‘bout to keep letting you put yo’ fuckin’ hands on her.” Cojak was picked up and slammed to the floor.
The man that my focus always seemed to shift to had Cojak’s neck under his foot and the guards running toward him. They were trying their hardest to pull him off my kids’ father, but he wasn’t budging. I couldn’t help but think what it would be like to have this kind of man’s protection. I’d never experienced it before.
“Get off him, Atkins. Atkins!” the guards yelled.
He ignored them and looked me dead in the eyes. I found myself damn near straining my neck just to look up at him. He was a giant compared to my tiny frame and oddly, I was more interested in why he felt the need to stick up for me than what he was doing to Cojak.
