Page 53 of Royce
“Where you going, My Baby?”
A smile graced my lips as his voice pierced my ears. Somewhere along the line, I quit refusing him and started accepting him. I was still trying to figure out if this was my new reality or a temporary situation. My heart was saying let Royce in, but my mind was saying not yet. Conflicted but still ready to take a step forward.
“I have to use the bathroom and store this breastmilk, Royce. We also have kids to care for, remember?”
We. Fighting him had given me several headaches at a time and giving him his way just seemed easier. I was starting to understand why they said he didn’t like being told no. He wasgoing to pester you until you agreed with him or gave in. He was spoiled rotten, but he was also spoiling me and the kids in the same manner. He didn’t play about us either. There was nothing anyone could do or say without his permission when it came to us.
My six weeks were up a couple weeks ago and instead of leaving like I planned, I was stuck in a routine I didn’t want to change. Royce definitely made life easier than it had ever been for me. Nothing seemed to be out of place. It was like everything he told me was backed by actions. He wasn’t just talking for the hell of it like Cojak.
“You trying to have one more? We can get that shit out the way now,” he voiced still not loosening his grip.
“What? No. I just had Essence and don’t plan on having anymore any time soon. I went through enough with her alone. I’m not ready mentally or physically for that,” I said finally sitting up. For some reason, him mentioning more kids caused me to feel nauseous.
I popped off the breast pumps, sat them on the nightstand, and scurried to the bathroom. Smothered and suffocated. That was the only thing I felt in that moment. Royce could get whatever he wanted, and he didn’t have to beg for it. I wasn’t giving that man anything until I was ready.
He followed behind me heading right for the showers. I prepared to wash my face while the temperature of the water rose. Once I began to scrub my face, I noticed the big ass rock on my left hand. With bulging eyes, I looked at my spread fingers in shock.
What the fuck is this?
I know how I fell asleep, and a ring this size wasn’t there. My head darted to the right of me, and Royce stood there with water cascading down his naked body wearing a sly grin. This was his doing and the look in his eyes screamed how proud he was formaking that move. I, on the other hand, didn’t know what to make of it.
My feelings for him were still being sorted. Most leaned toward being with him while the rest were still conflicting and needed more time. This was simply too much for me, especially when I just accepted him.
“Royce, what is this?” I asked holding up my hand. Although the ring was gorgeous, it didn’t belong on my hand… yet.
“What it look like, My Baby? A fuckin’ ring.”
“I know what it is, Royce. You know damn well what I’m asking you. Why you always have to play dumb with me? You talk shit and be upfront with everybody but me. Why is this ring on my finger, Royce?”
“Finish doing yo’ lil’ shit then come here so we can talk. I’d rather do this shit now ‘cause like you said, we got kids to take care of,” he replied.
I continued to wash my face then brushed my teeth right after. Once I was done, I joined him in the shower. It was still the same with him catering to my body before his own. The kind of man that didn’t push his gentleman ways to the side just because pussy was in front of him. That was what earned him his chance.
Wrapping my arms around his waist, I became content with his presence. As much as I used to fuss, even then I was comfortable in his embrace from how well he both spoke to me and treated me. Nothing changed from the time he invaded my life.
“Why is this expensive ass ring on my finger, Royce?”
“Are you not my wife? Am I not the nigga you told my daughter you fell for?”
“You’re too old to be eavesdropping ain’t you?” I rolled my eyes realizing I was outed weeks ago about my true feelings for him. He needed to start making his presence known instead of creeping around.
“Not in my goddamn house I’m not. What’s wrong with you wearing my ring? What? You want them niggas to think you still single or something? You trying to leave me and find better? I can tell you now it’s a waste of time.” His arrogance was disturbingly annoying at one point in time. However, it was just another thing I’d grown an attraction to since being here.
“It’s the principal Royce. You should’ve asked first.”
“I don’t give a fuck if it was the guidance counselor. What the hell am I asking you to wear a ring that belongs on yo’ finger for? Don’t piss me off, My Baby.”
“You’ve been calling me your wife since day one. Why give a ring all of a sudden?”
“I have my reasons. You still need me or you good?”
I’d been washed thoroughly many times over and all I spoke on was the ring. I didn’t even have time to shift my focus and enjoy his touch. He might’ve been respectful and restrained, but I yearned for the physicality. It had been that was for quite some time now.
“Still need you,” I said taking that final step to close the gap between us. I’d revisit the ring conversation afterward.
Once he looked up at me, I saw a mixture of love and lust in his eyes. I went ten months without the physical affection of a man. From the way he looked at me alone, I knew he was waiting for me to make a move. Heidi already gave me the heads up that he wouldn’t budge until I gave him the green light. This was the perfect time to sit on his lap and experience what I dared not to in the beginning.
A kiss was exchanged as his hands roamed my body. That same tingling sensation coursed through me as it had done since the first time our flesh got acquainted. I enjoyed kissing him and the more I did the deeper my feelings went. He gave me a sense of security to where I didn’t think my time was being wasted or played with. Fuckin’ him was just a plus for the both of us.
