Page 22 of The Most Dearest
Weeks had flown by. Harrison was becoming more and more unhinged, and Emma was spending more time with us as a group. He’d secured a job at Walmart, prompting constant digs from Miranda, which Harrison defended by stating that he was a duty manager. On his second day on the job, Miranda had come home in stitches.
“I'm so not a natural-born Karen but fuck today was fun!” she said.
“What happened?”
“Well, I needed some new towels, so of course, I headed to Walmart. Things weren't up to scratch, and I was hardly going to accost a worker, so I asked to speak to the duty manager. Harrison needs to improve his customer service skills. His store manager was watching, so all he could do was go red and apologize to me for the 'stink waves' in the store. His face was so puffy and pinched, it looked like he was going to explode. I told him the stink waves were coming from him, and he got all cranky. He put his hands on his hips and the manager came over to ask what was wrong. I put on a sad, scared look and told him that all I'd done was ask where the toilets were! Good times, good times,” she said nostalgically, wiping away imaginary laughter tears.
Damon’s Cam had begun to join us for dinner and Netflix every now and then. The more of us we crammed into this house, the more Harrison seemed to seethe. Stefan was dropping in afair bit too, which was odd. We weren’t ever that close. He was the little brother of one of my old school friends. Most ofourfriends weremyfriends to begin with, so it's not like Harrison could call in any allies. It was him and Emma against the world, and Emma's loyalty was wavering lately. Damon and I continued to date, and our tame kisses had graduated into full make-out sessions. In the last week, we started to spend less time at my house. It was fun while it was fake, but I didn't want to stain our quality time with the presence of a scowling Harrison.
Tonight, we were celebrating Nettie’s birthday, which was sure to piss Harrison off more than any of Miranda's crazy pranks. A "filthy" dog in the house. No, make that two filthy dogs in the house. I'd insisted on hosting and Samuel and Vanessa had brought along their German Shepherd, Blob. He and Nettie got on like a house on fire, and thankfully, both breeds shed a lot of fur. Like, a real lot. I should have invited a husky too. I’d have to vacuum when they left, but it would be worth Harrison's inevitable breakdown. Nettie was spayed, which was good because Blob had an enormous set of balls proudly on display. If Harrison was so obsessed with Alvin/Marta's asshole, Blob's balls would really set him off. It was kind of sad that I had to send Alvin/Marta home, but her mama and daddy were home from their trip. If Harrison noticed her absence, he didn't say anything. It’s a shame. Alvin/Marta would have loved this party. I really should get a cat. Andnotcall it Alvin.
We handed out the human cake to the homo sapiens in the room and the pupcakes to Nettie and Blob after an easy pizza dinner. I sat on Damon’s lap, while the other distinguished guests filtered in and out of the kitchen. I'd invited Stefan in the hope that Harrison would be haunted by his small hands barb. I felt content. Life had certainly become less predictable, but it wasway more fun. Harrison had been out at the driving range, when he returned home to find the dog party in full swing.
“What the ...” he stalked through the living room door, peering into the kitchen where a “Happy birthday Nettie” banner was strung. He didn't even say anything. Disappointing. He looked around the room, sucking in his breath when he saw Emma posing for an Insta shot with Nettie and Blob, who were wearing party hats. His mouth twisted in revulsion when Blob adopted the perfect position to show off his gargantuan balls.
“Hey dude, how are you?” Stefan asked him, slapping him on the back like they were friends.
“Fine,” Harrison said stiffly, watching Blob wander away and rub his wet nose all over the kitchen drawers. Blob enjoyed a good sniff session.
“Hey Joanne,” Stefan called out to my colleague, who had been very excited to attend a dog birthday party. “Come check out this guy’s hands, it's hilarious.”
Harrison pulled his shoulders back and moved away without saying a word.
“Oh, come on, show them to her,” Stefan said. “I'm not having a go at you man. I'd love hands like that. I could fix my watch without those pokey little tools!” He threw his head back and laughed. Joanne smiled and tried to catch a peek at Harrison’s hands. She was out of luck. He tucked them into his pockets.
Miranda approached Harrison, who was looking equal parts confused, annoyed, and embarrassed. “Hey Embarrison, I found out a fun fact today. Do you know what happens if you shove an orange up the spout of a toilet? Actually, the spout part is called a trapway. Trapways have to be completely clear to ensure an efficient flush. I found a whole website on toilet facts.”
“Fuck off, Miranda.” He skulked away but I could tell he'd be shoving his hands up the toilet later. As much of a germaphobe as he was, the thought of his toilet overflowing would have him gloving up and investigating.
She followed him. “Oh, and by the way, I ran our situation past the good people of Reddit. Everyone agrees wholeheartedly that you are the asshole. I can send you the link.”
He flipped her the bird and left the room silently. I almost felt pity for him. Was his mental health suffering? I didn't want to go far enough to hurt him, just far enough for him to see what was fair. I kissed Damon and promised to be right back.
On my way out, I grabbed Miranda. “What did you do to his toilet?”
“Nothing,” she laughed. “But he thinks I did something. And I found his secret sanitizer stash so after he investigates the toilet, he'll be reaching for more lube.”
Harrison had fucked around and seemed permanently stuck in the “find out” stage. I found him on the front step.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Why do you give a shit? Fucking hell, Cordy. What happened to us?” He looked down sadly at his feet.
“You cheated on me Harrison. That's what happened. I think you can agree that we lead different lives now. We can't stay together. Just pay me out. I just want out. Out of this toxicity and out of this connection with you.”
He sighed. “I'm not giving you the money Cordy. You have to admit, I put in more than you. I—"
“No, Harrison. We put in the same amount if you adjust it by percentage of our wages. And you know I've done so much to clean this place up and renovate. And I've done it alone. If I'dknown you were going to cheat just months into our 'happily ever after,' I'd never have thrown my money and mental energy in. This is your doing. The natural consequence of your actions, and you think I should walk away with one month of rent money? How is that fair?”
He stood and looked at me with determination in his eyes. “No.” Then he went inside. This wasn't over then. Ugh, maybe I'd be the one to break. I didn't want to, but I wanted my new life to start. I'd moved past vengeance. At what point was I just punishing myself and holding myself back from growth and a new life? Damon shouldn't have to put up with this shit. But I'd saved years for the deposit. Why should I walk away with barely anything? Getting a lawyer, even if Dad paid, wasn't worth it. We'd run through $20K of fees to recover $15K. I guess Harrison knew that, hence his determination and confidence to see this through.
Fine. Parlay over.
We cleaned up the dog party when everyone left, and Damon left with Nettie. Blob had a great time and unfortunately peed in the kitchen, but Emma offered to clean it. Emma was kind of cool. Once she learned to respect other people's relationships, she might actually qualify as a good person. She even helped clean up the living room. At one point, she'd looked at me nervously.
“Um, Cordy, I just want to say I'm sorry. I didn't know you were still together properly and I ... he was so nice to me. I feel stupid. Mom isn't talking to me, and Dad hates Harrison and keeps telling me to move home. You seem really nice, and I just feel like ... I don't know. I'm sorry.” She seemed genuine and close to tears. Yes, there was hope for Emma. She was only 18. While I don't think I would have fucked someone else's man at that age, she had a real naivety about her, even if she had a filthy mouth and sex stories that shocked even Miranda.
I nodded acknowledgment to her and left. She wasn't my friend or sister. It wasn't on me to forgive her, but she seemed more and more like a decent person every day. I'd showered and was feeling fresh and clean in my pajamas when I received a text from Damon.
