Page 58 of Never Die for a Sinner
Just another poor, pathetic soul left shattered after a night with Levi Cross. Shattered because I no longer know who I am.
I look down at the dirt caked in my nails in the shower. I’ve tried scrubbing, but I can’t get it all. My pussy feels like I had sex with theIncredible Hulk,and my back and tailbone are sore from the hard ground.
The worst part?
I can’t even be angry. I asked for it. Hell . . . Iwantedit.
Who tempts a wolf with a fresh, juicy steak?
Someone who has a death wish, I think dryly.
Every time I move, I’m reminded he was there. While I’m not a virgin, the ache between my thighs is new. Before Levi, I’d slept with a grand total of two guys. Levi feels like the equivalent ofsixof those guys all mashed together into one dangerously handsome psychopath.
And now . . . I’m screwed.
I don’t know much about this Unknown asshole, but I have a feeling they’ll be back. It’s only a matter of time before they come to collect whatever the hell is on that elusive flash drive.
Something tells me the excuse that Levi caught me isn’t going to fly.
I take a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. I have to think. I can’t panic.
—Who am I kidding? Panicking is what I do best.
The truth is, I’m out of options. Every step I take feels like walking a tightrope over a pit I can’t see the bottom of. Who knows what happens after I fail to deliver what they’ve requested?
That thought alone terrifies me more than anything else.
When I cut the shower off and step out into the steamy bathroom, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I wipe the steam away.
Ilookshattered. How do you go back to the mundane after a night like that? Will I ever even walk comfortably again?
After we made the long trek back to the house, and he promised to find out exactly what I was up to in his room, I wobbled to my bed and passed out, exhausted from the night’s activities. I’d woken up dirty, sore, and confused before I wasforced to reconcile that last night wasn’t a fever dream. I really did that.
What kind of person hunts someone down in the woods and fucks them in the dirt?
What kind of personasksfor it?
Growling at my own reflection, I storm back to my room. People have sex every day. Some have even kinkier sex than I could ever dream of. A romp in the woods is like foreplay for those people.
So, why am I so upset over one night?
Is it the way he called mebaby girl? How my body seemed to react to the nickname like he was some kind of sex god. Or maybe it’s how even when he was rough, his hands were gentle, like I was made of glass.
Maybe it’s just because I’ve been thinking about him for so long that now that I’ve had a taste of him, I’m not sure which way is up, let alone how to regulate these strange, tender feelings blooming in my chest.
Unfortunately, as much as I’d like to pretend otherwise, I’m not indifferent, and that’s a problem.
Despite how crude he is. Despite the way he acts like I’m beneath him half the time, there’s this little voice screaming in the back of my head that he’s not a bad man. He pretends he is to hide the fact that he can’t sleep at night because the nightmares wake him. That he’s an alcoholic, still struggling with his childhood and his father’s death, and that he cares a whole hell of a lot more than he lets on.
Levi definitely cares. He just hates himself for it.
Luckily, today is my day off, so when I put on some clean clothes, no one is expecting me. I take my time—totally not hiding in my room to avoid the man across the hall—and clean. I change my sheets because they’re stained with mud and litteredwith bits of leaves and sticks. I vacuum and I even sort through some of my clothes before I’m forced to acknowledge the fact that my stomach is literally eating itself.
Silently, I make my way downstairs to the kitchen to look for something to eat. I find some leftover pasta that Javier had made the night before and grab a bowl, sliding it into the microwave. While I wait, I cross to the far cupboard to fetch a glass for water.
Only to run right into a hard wall of muscle.
Uh oh.
