Page 113 of Playing the Game
She smiles. “I have many surprises. Give me a chance and I’ll show them to you.”
I sit on the stool and face the woman I adore. I suck in a breath of courage. “Where do we start?”
“How about with you trusting me?”
“That’s a loaded one. Are you sure that’s where you want to begin?”
“Jami,” she warns. “Don’t dismiss your feelings. Tell me how you feel and don’t hide it from me.”
I don’t answer. This topic is harder to talk about than I thought.
She shakes her head. “You know, some might say you need to work on your communication skills.”
My laugh rolls out. “Says the woman who runs and locks herself away anytime I piss her off a little.”
She joins in with the laughter. It’s good. We need to lift some of the heaviness and bring in some joy.
When we’re doing great, that’s what we have. Even when we’ve only been friends, our lives together have been full of happiness.
I sigh. “In all seriousness, I want to do better by trusting you with my emotions. I’ve never had to talk about things. I’m an only child who had parents who catered to my every wish. If I needed something, it was there.”
“I know. You’re one of the lucky ones.” She smiles with longing in her eyes. “I miss your parents.”
Scalding heat surges through me. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“They’d still be here if...”
She rounds the counter and rushes to me. “Don’t do that to yourself. It was an accident.”
I turn to face her and pull her between my legs. “I know, but they’d still be here if I had been responsible.”
She cups my face. “You have to quit blaming yourself.”
“Some days are better than others. It’s probably just the mood I’m in.”
“Please, talk to me when you’re feeling down.”
“I’ll try, but I’m not used to doing that. It’s a foreign concept to me.”
She twists and pulls out the other stool to sit next to me. She situates herself so our knees are touching.
“Jami, we have a long way to go. Off the top of my head, we have at least five things we need to face together. They won’t be easy obstacles to overcome, but I’m going to fight to make it work with you. Just like you’ve said, it’s what’s meant to be.”
Loving warmth takes hold of my heart and encapsulates me. “How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?”
She raises her eyebrows. “You call it luck?”
“Yes, I do.” I reach behind her neck and pull her into a kiss. We draw apart, and I settle back. “We’ve covered the communication issue, so the next one I think we should discuss is what you just told me upstairs.”
“If I had remembered what today was, I?—”
“Nope. Don’t change the subject. Tell me how you see this playing out.”
She glances down. “I don’t think I can go through it again, Jami. Every time I think about having a baby, I feel like I’m going to die.”
I rub her knee. “What part makes you feel like that?”
