Page 15 of Playing the Game
Wanting her more than any other woman was morecomplicated than I thought it would be. I fell in love with her through the years, each year a little more than the one before.
If I’m being honest, I loved her before that day in her yard, but I didn’t understand my emotions.
I would invite her to go hiking with me when her brother was unavailable and knew he wouldn’t find out. We would talk about everything on those hikes.
But my favorite part about spending time with her on the trails was when she would stop and take in her surroundings. She appreciated everything from the smell of the dirt to the vast views from the top of the mountain we were on.
I loved that about her. She never seemed to take anything for granted. Her zest for life was contagious.
There were times I almost kissed her, but I could never pull the trigger. My fear of getting caught took over. Sometimes, my heart would race just thinking about her dad seeing me go for Dori like I had.
It embarrassed me constantly. I feared what her family thought of me and how Aiden would react if he knew my true feelings.
Wrap all those emotions up, and the definition of what I experience when I’m near her is spelled out clearly. I’ve been at war with myself over her ever since that day in her backyard.
I want her, love her, and need to be with her, but I can’t overcome the constant obstacles keeping me from her. My feelings are more than difficult to rectify.
They’re like a bullet to the chest. They tear at my flesh and steal my breath.
What am I left with if I can’t be with her?
Never-ending longing and desire burning in my heart. If I could just get past the fear and shame and stand up for what I know is meant to be, would I have my happily ever after? Could we make it beyond her brother’s adamant refusal of accepting us together?
I’ve got to fight to find out because a life without her doesn’t seem right. I clamor for air and struggle to wake from this nightmare. The only problem is I have no strength left.
“We’re losing him again!” The words bounce around in my head.
I give in to the tiredness of it all and fade away into the black.
CHAPTER 4
DORI
The echoof Jami flatlining rings in my ears.
He can’t die.
The medical team shouts orders one by one as each person has their task of keeping Jami alive. I squeeze my eyes shut at the new memory that will forever be burned in my brain.
Please let him make it through this.
I can’t lose him.
Mel stands and tries to get me to rise to my feet. “Dori, you’ve got to eat something. We’ve been here for hours, and Jonah’s in the cafeteria waiting for us.”
I resist her grip. “I can’t go anywhere until they tell me Jami’s okay.”
“He’s still in surgery. That’s the best you’re going to get for the time being. You have to take care of yourself. He’s going to need you to be strong once he wakes up.”
My gaze meets hers. “And if he wakes up and I’m nowhere to be found, he’ll think I don’t care.”
“He won’t. He knows how you feel about him.”
I blink and let her words sink in. How can he know how Ifeel about him when I’ve pushed him away and locked him out of my life? My heart plummets.
“Mel, right before he was shot, I told him I was staying with Hunter. Jami asked me to give him a chance, and I said no. That’s that last thing he’ll remember.” Tears prick at the corners of my eyes.
I shrink into myself. Jami’s been a part of my life since I was ten. I’ve lost my chance with him more times than I can count, but this…this is so much different. He might die, and the last thing I said to him was Hunter needed me more.
