Page 151 of Playing the Game
Her cheeks turn a dusty rose. “Yes. He’s been so considerate of my feelings. It’s like he knows what’s going on inside my head and what I need before I do. It’s comforting to be with him.”
I’ve seen how she looks when she’s in love, but this is beyond that by miles. I need her to stop talking about Jamison.Her longing gaze meets mine. I take the opportunity to get the conversation going in the right direction.
“What was it you wanted to discuss with me?” I gesture to my phone. “You were the one who wanted to meet, so I’m ready to talk.”
“Of course. I thought it would be nice to have one last discussion and end things on a friendly note.”
“A friendly note?”
She puts her palm over the top of my hand. “You told me once you would take me as a friend, and I need to know that still stands. When all is said and done, I want you to think of me as someone you could talk to if you ever needed someone to listen.”
The wind in my lungs escapes as I try to hold in the fact I’m a shattered mess inside. I sit with a new awareness and stare at the woman I love whose eyes burn for another—whose heart no longer belongs to me.
She squeezes my hand. “Hunter, please say something.”
I swallow my emotions and clear my throat. “You and I will always be friends. I meant everything I said to you. I always have and always will.”
“We both meant everything we said to each other. Let’s focus on that.” She removes her hand and sits back.
Panic strikes my heart in an unrelenting lightning storm. Over and over, the bolts electrocute me until I can’t take it anymore. “That’s not true.”
“What’s not true?”
“You said you wouldn’t leave me. You told me you would stay with me. When we got back from Paris, you promised.” I can’t help myself.
This moment is just like the day I held on to my mother’s legs as she pried me off them so she could leave. I’ve done so much work to be better for Dorothy, and she still wants to abandon me.
I’m still not someone she can love. Not like she loves Jamison.
My heart cracks and crumbles to the ground. “Did none of that matter? Is it really that easy for you to walk away from us?”
She pulls back and rests her palm over her heart. “It mattered more than you can understand. You taught me how a person can change and be a better man. You showed me how hard someone will work to right all their wrongs.”
“That someone you’re referring to is me. I was the one who did that for you. No one else.”
She lowers her head and whispers, “I know, and I’ll always be grateful for that. You taught me you would clean up all your wrongs just to have another chance to love me.”
“I did that for you.”
“And that means the world to me. The love I had for you will be something I cherish for the rest of my life.”
None of that matters because even though I might have worked to better myself, that doesn’t change how her soul craves another. Her eyes shine for another. Her heart yearns and beats for another.
She doesn’t want me. She wants him.
Confusion overcomes me. “But where does that leave me?”
She lifts her head and subtly shakes it. “I’m sorry it didn’t turn out the way you hoped. I’m sorry I hurt you. And I’m sorry I’m doing it again.”
I take a deep breath as stinging tears press on the backs of my eyes. “Did you ever love me?”
“I did. Very much.”
“But never as much as you do him.” I study every twitch in her expression. “Tell me the truth. I need and deserve it. Help me put this to bed once and for all. Help me understand why so I can let you go and move on.”
She smiles warmly. “There were times when I thought Iloved you as much. But my heart was already taken, and I’m so sorry for that. It took me almost losing him forever to realize that, but that’s the truth.
“Hunter, Jamison has always owned my heart. Our connection is something I can’t explain to anyone. It’s more than love. So much more.”
