Page 28 of Playing the Game
“Back up, Dori. Let’s take this one issue as a time.” Her eyes narrow in on me. “What’s causing you confusion around Jami?”
“Right before Jami was shot, he was begging for another chance. I thought since my life was here and he had an opportunity to make his dreams come true in Miami, the least selfish thing I could do was to let him go. But now...”
“Now what?”
“I can’t lose him. He has no one and… I don’t want a life without him in it.”
She writes something down on a pad of paper. “But you’re with Hunter and having doubts about that decision?”
“Yes. I know when we talked last, I thought it was best to let Jami go so I could help Hunter through this thing with Isabella, but I don’t know how I can now.
“I don’t want to hurt him when he’s tried so hard for me, but when I close my eyes and let my heart go where it wants to go, I only see Jami’s face.”
“How do you feel about Hunter right now?”
I shift and glance up at Trey. He’s looking right at me. My cheeks heat as if he can hear my conversation.
I focus back on the screen. “Hunter’s wonderful. He’s done everything he can to better himself, and it was all for me. I love him for that.”
“It sounds like you could be confusing obligation or guilt for love.”
I sit with that for a minute, blinking and at a loss for words. I’ve felt like that before but never thought about it much. It has my mind whipping around like it’s in a dust storm.
She nods. “We can come back to that. Why don’t you tell me what Jami’s condition is now?”
“He’s still in the ICU and it’s a day by day thing. I can’t walk away from him when he needs me. He has nobody, and Hunter has an entire family to help him through this issue with Isabella.”
“Dori, when we last spoke, you weren’t sure about staying with Hunter. You ended the session by saying you thought it would be hard to be with him if this baby turned out to be his.
“Is your confusion because of Jami’s condition and what he needs, or is it because Hunter could be the father of another woman’s child?”
“It’s both. I don’t want to be selfish anymore. I want to stop hurting people I care about.” My chest aches. “How am I supposed to make everyone happy in this situation?”
Samantha stares at me with a look of resolve. “Your job isn’t to make everyone happy. Your job is to take care of your mental health and deal with your problems with integrity.”
“But I’m going to hurt someone, and I don’t want to.” I shift in my chair as my nerves spike.
“You say you love both men.” She pauses. “The only way you stop hurting them is to make a decision and stick to it.”
“How do I do that without hurting someone in the first place?”
“With your situation, there’s no way around it. So the question is, what do you want? A life with Jami or a life with Hunter?”
CHAPTER 7
DORI
“Jami,tell me what I should do.” I sit next to his hospital bed.
Samantha asked me not to decide who I want to be with without seriously thinking about her question, so that’s what I’m doing.
Who do I want to build a future with?
I have years of memories with Jami. So many of those steal my breath. We’ve been friends and lovers. I have to believe all the history we share means something. But what if he wakes up and decides I’m not worth the trouble?
My mind wanders back to the most intimate night we’ve spent together—the night we let down our defenses and finally allowed our connection to come alive.
I’m on my back as Jami devours me. “Jami, I want more.”
