Page 47 of Playing the Game
“I figured.” My stomach hollows out, and I glance over my shoulder.
He’s sleeping peacefully but still looks vulnerable.
I turn and face her. “Can I bring him some of his belongings from home?”
“Of course.” She peeks into the window of the patient’s room next to Jami’s. “Excuse me, I need to check on my other patient.”
“Thanks for your time and the information.” I amble back to my chair next to his bed.
As I sit and wait for him to wake up, my problems press onme. Going to work this morning and Jonah officially terminating me from Efron Worldwide was humiliating.
I thought I was prepared, but I cried like a two-year-old. Thankfully, it was only Jonah, so I wasn’t forced to face anybody else. I take Jami in and force my selfishness away. Once he’s out of the woods, my job situation can be handled.
How am I going to tell him I got fired?
How am I going to tell Aiden?
I’ve been reckless and should’ve seen this coming. Shame rains over me. I’ve got to do something to distract myself.
I gather my purse and jacket and leave to get some of Jami’s items. His keys were in the coat the hospital gave me, so I’m able to get into his apartment.
The drive to his place allows me time to deal with my stress. My security team trails behind me. They’re a clear reminder that my job is the least of my problems.
Someone wants to hurt me. Most likely, that someone is Hunter’s mom. I just wish I knew why she’s after me.
I run through plausible reasons, and I can only come up with one thing. Hunter’s mom wanted Ava to end up with him. Now that I’m not with him anymore, maybe his mom won’t care about me anymore.
But Hunter keeps fighting for me, so maybe that’s why she’s after me. She wants me out of the picture. And that thought takes me right back to Jami. He almost died because of me.
Every negative thing in my life is related to my decision to be with Hunter. I thought the universe was pointing out that he was the one I was supposed to be with, but I’ve been reading the signals all wrong.
An overwhelming heaviness sits on my chest. I still love him, but my heart will always be with Jami. If only there were a way I could spare Hunter of any heartache.
Knowing there’s not, I force away the thought. It’s time I stick to my decision and quit hurting everyone involved.
Once inside Jami’s apartment, I gather some personal items, such as his toiletries and laptop. I leave his office and stare down the hall at his son’s room. My throat tightens as my breathing shallows.
Don’t go in there, Dori.
It won’t do any good.
I start toward the stairs, but something keeps pulling me toward the nursery. With a push, the door creaks open. The aroma of baby powder wafts around me, but they wouldn’t have used it.
Am I imagining it?
I step inside and scan the beautiful seafoam green baby room. A shooting pain causes my heart to constrict. I brace myself and steady my wobbling legs.
What if I can’t get to the point where I can give Jami a child of his own?
I know how much he wants that, and we haven’t even discussed the matter at length. His comment about having babies with me still has me reeling.
I’ve already lost a child of his. I can’t imagine taking something like that from him again. He’d never forgive me, and I know he’d never see me the same.
Why are things always so difficult for us?
Will he leave me when I tell him I don’t want kids of my own?
I’m not sure how to rectify the situation. If we can’t get on the same page, then I need to let him go so he can find someone who can give him what he wants. My insides knot. I can’t let him go. Not ever again.
