Page 84 of Shadow Caster
He raked a hand through his dark wavy hair. “That’s none of your fucking business.”
“Maybe not, but I’m sick of seeing him get hurt every time you blank him.” I crossed my arms. “You’re still fucking him, right?”
His jaw clenched, and then he glared at me. “Who I fuck is none of your business. You don’t see me questioning your early evening sessions with Master Hyde, do you?”
My ears grew warm. “There is nothing going on between me and Master Hyde. He offered to train me, and I accepted.”
“Is that what you call writhing on the ground then?”
Ice flooded my veins. “You were spying on us?”
“I went for a run. I saw you. That did not look like training. I see the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching. Hunger.” He walked over to me and peered down his nose at me. “He wants to fuck you, Justice, and I think you want to fuck him too, but hey, who you fuck or don’t is none of my business.”
He was trying to turn this on me, to avoid discussing what was going on between him and Thomas, and if he’d simply asked me to back off, I would have, but like hell would I back down now.
“Do you love him, Harmon? Do you love Thomas.”
His jaw ticked. “Fuck you, Indie.” He turned away.
“Then stop hurting him. Tell him how you feel. Ask for some space if you need it. But don’t make him feel like shit by ignoring him.”
He stood, hands on hips, head bowed. “Everything is so fucked up right now,” he finally admitted. “I need to focus on Lottie and training. I don’t have room in my head for anything more.”
“Then tell him that. Tell him what you want.”
“How can I tell him what I want when I don’t even know what I want.”
“You can’t keep stringing him along. It’s not fair. If you can’t get your shit together, then cut him loose. Be honest. If it’s meant to be, you’ll find your way back to each other, but right now, all you’re doing is making him feel like crap.”
His shoulders sagged, and my heart went out to him. “You’re a good guy, Harmon. A littlegrrrat times, and you can be an asshole when you want, but you’re not vindictive.” I rubbed the spot between his shoulder blades. “What’s happened to Lottie is fucked up, and Minnie … I know how you feel.”
He turned to me. “Lottie was a part of me, and now that part is gone. I see her and speak to her, but she isn’t there. The kid I raised is gone. Those experiences, those memories that made her the Lottie I loved are gone.” His throat bobbed. “It’s like trying to love a stranger.” His voice cracked. “It’s like I’m forcing her to learn to love me back.” He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose to hold back tears. “I fucking hate it.”
My body acted on forgotten instinct. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek to his chest in a hug of comfort. His muscles tensed, and I made to pull back, but he circled me with his arms, and then he was hugging me back.
I’d been hugged by Minnie on several occasions, but a hug from Harmon was like a blanket being wrapped around me. It was safe and secure. Heat gathered behind my nose and pricked at my eyes as the contact began to unlock all the turmoil inside me.
There was a sharp rap on the door, and then it was pushed open. “Harmon, I—” Thomas’s mouth fell open, and his eyes widened in shock.
Oh, shit. This looked bad. I made to pull away from Harmon, but his grip was firm.
Thomas turned on his heel and stormed off.
Harmon sighed and relaxed his hold on me. “I’ll speak to him.” He released me, almost reluctantly, and walked to the door. “Thank you.”
This was what happened when I tried to fix shit. I just made it worse.
Urgh.
I left the cadet dorms and headed to the masters’ quarters. A shower and fresh clothes were in order, and then I’d check in on Master Payne and the neon goop.
Twenty-Seven
“You fool. You idiot.” Larkin’s voice drifted down the corridor. “You should know better. Let them do the work. You need to steer clear. It was a blessing.”
“A blessing?” Hyde snarled. “You think this is a fucking blessing.”
“Better than what could have happened. Playing with fire means you will get burned.”
