Page 17 of Shadow Master
The moon had reached its apex, and Hyde still hadn’t returned from the Academy. Even though his absence was a yearning in my blood, it was for the best. Being around him and not being able to touch him, to be close to him, would be too much right now. Orion’s presence here meant that we needed to be careful how we interacted.
Athos and the hounds had made themselves comfortable on the other side of the forge. Devon and Aidan had lit the fires, and heat radiated from the building, spilling across the grounds and staving off the chill.
Training was still going on, and tents had been set up for those not on shift to get some rest. Kash had retreated to the barracks to work on his AM post skills but would be back later. He’d made sure to set up a tent for us before leaving. There was something sexy about a guy who could erect a tent in five minutes flat.
Below me, down in the mist, barracks six had been commandeered as the control center. Lloyd was in charge of communication between the Academy and us. A couple of radios kept him in touch with the fortress grounds.
It was a simple setup and was working so far.
Harmon sat on the ground to my left, staring into the flames of our campfire. He’d been quiet, reserved the past few hours.
Worry pricked at my brain. “How are you doing?”
He looked at his palm and turned it over. “Still a monster.”
I slipped my hand into his. “Not to me, you’re not.”
He smiled wryly. “No. Not to you, but I see the way others look at me when they think I not watch. I don’t belong here. Not anymore.”
Panic gripped me. “If not here, then where, huh?” Did he want to leave? “Harmon?”
He tucked in his chin. “Look at me, Justice. Who the fuck accept me like this?”
He was talking about Thomas, he had to be. “Thomas loves you. He won’t care.”
Harmon made a gruff, grating sound that I realized was an ironic laugh. “You not know him like I. Thomas love beauty. He love things look good. He not love me like this. No one will.”
How could he say that, think that when I … Oh … My breath snagged in my throat at a dawning revelation. One that had been at the back of my consciousness for some time now. One I’d denied and ignored. Harmon was in my heart. He’d been there forever it seemed, but he’d belonged to someone else. But no longer. He wasn’t with Thomas any longer …
Emotions that had been neatly tucked away rose to the surface like oil on water. My instinct to push them back under surged, but I fought it, shifting to crouch in front of Harmon and frame his face with my palms.
“Harmon, look at me. Please.”
He met my gaze, his eyes mossy and dark with sorrow.
He needed to know the truth. He needed to know he was wanted. “I see you, and I don’t care. I … I love you.” My voice cracked. “You’re my Harmon, and you belong with me.” Tears pricked the backs of my eyes. “Will you stay with me? Please.”
His eyes flared emerald, and his pupils dilated. “You really mean that, don’t you?”
I leaned in and brushed his nose with mine. “I really mean it.”
His huge hands came up to span my back and hips. Our breath mingled, and then I brushed my lips across his, feather-light in a kiss that flooded me with warmth and love.
“Thank you.” His voice was a thick whisper.
Something was wrong. I pulled back to see the darkness of doubt that shadowed his face. He didn’t believe me. He thought this was pity. That my words were out of pity.
I pressed my thumbs to his chin and forced his head up. “I fucking mean it, you idiot. I should have told you how I felt, but you had Thomas, and you guys were solid. There was no point, so I ignored it.”
He scanned my face. “You felt it back then too?” The timbre of his voice had dropped an octave.
I nodded. “I don’t know when we slipped from friendship to more, but it happened. I just … you were in a relationship. But now … Now, you’re not.” I licked my lips. “I want to explore what we have.”
“Like this?” He looked down at himself. “You want me like this?”
I caressed his cheek. “You’re beautiful. You can’t see it, but I do.” I ran my fingers down his cheek, over his jaw, and trailed them down his neck. His skin was slightly rough, but it was warm and hard. I pushed up, so I was kneeling between his thighs, so our torsos touched. “I think you’re fucking sexy as hell.”
Our lips were a hairsbreadth apart, and then he kissed me. His lips were warm and soft. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my body to his, deepening the kiss. Tasting him for the first time. It was familiar and comfortable, like taking that final step over the threshold of a place called home.
