Page 74 of Witch Undecided
Chapter Twenty-Two
“He won’t help, then?” Sloane nodded. “I don’t suppose I blame him.”
Me neither.
“What?” Tor glared at her. “He has the chance to save lives. If he was a decent person—”
“He’s not a person.” I made a sound of exasperation. “He doesn’t even know what he is. He’s been used and bound and trapped all his life. With me, he had some semblance of freedom, some control, and then I put on this fucking amulet.”
“You did what you had to. You were protecting yourself,” Tor said.
“From what?” Honestly, I wasn’t even sure anymore. “Jasper has always protected me. If not for the seal I’d take this thing off and take my chances with him.”
The room was eerily silent. Fuck. I needed to rein in my emotions. Considering other people’s feelings wasn’t my forte. Except when it came to Fee. I wasn’t the kind of person to walk on eggshells.
Tor, Leif, and Rune were my mates by choice. They were connected to me, they cared about me, and there was that whole alpha wolf possessive thing to worry about. Telling them I wanted Jasper so bluntly was probably a little insensitive.
“You’re in love with him,” Sloane said softly.
Oh man, did she have to go there? “I don’t use the L word.” My heart squeezed painfully. “I’ve never allowed myself to go there.”
“And you can’t,” Leif said softly. “Not until we know more about him. Not until you can be a hundred percent confident that you won’t… submit to him.”
“You mean fuck him?” I gave Leif a flat look. “We’re all grown-ups here. You can say it.”
Tor’s chest rumbled.
Rune bumped me with his nose.Give him time. He’ll be back. Right now, he’s hurt. Upset. But I don’t think it’s in his nature to turn his back on you or the people that mean something to you.
Thank goodness for Rune’s insightful nature. His words resonated with me. Because Jasper was an ass at times, projecting an air of coldness and cruelty, but that was probably all he’d known. All he remembered. The blood witch who’d owned him had kept him starving and gray, giving him nothing but taking whatever she needed. I’d freed him, but all I’d shown him was contempt, even though he’d saved my ass over and over.
God, I was a bitch. Why was I such a bitch?
It was time to reset our relationship. He was mad, yes, he had a right to be, and it was up to me to make it up to him in any way I could that didn’t involve removing the amulet, because if I did that…If I did that, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to trust myself with him.
I stroked Rune’s head and then kissed between his ears. “Thank you.”
Sloane drained her cup. “Okay, so we need to work on the assumption that we don’t have a way to break the null effect.” She looked to Tor. “The witches are on hand to help if things change and Jasper comes around.” She looked to me. “Pack a few things and I’ll take you back to the mansion.”
“Wren too!” He rushed over and hugged my leg.
I stroked his head. “Of course.”
“Wren get Jules to make cocoa.”
Sloane looked at her watch. “It’s almost midnight, buddy. Kitchen’s closed.”
Wren smiled sweetly at her. “Not for Wren.”
Oh boy, my mogwai had the kitchen staff wrapped around his paw.
Leif pulled me into a hug and kissed my head. “Rain check on movie night?”
I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tight. “Be safe. Please.”
Leif stepped back and Tor took his place.
He lifted my chin with the crook of his finger and looked deep into my eyes. “I’m sorry for snapping. I can’t change my stance on Jasper until we know more.”
