Page 98 of Aberrant Monsters
Quentin’s jaw hardened. “Okay, so we know you can siphon off eldritch now.” He was looking at me in an intensely scrutinizing way. Searching for something.
Probably looking for changes in me. “I didn’t keep the power. I let it go. Telarion made me let it go.”
Quentin’s shoulders dropped. “Good. We have no idea what housing that thing’s energy could do to you.”
But I did. I’d seen my reflection in Telarion’s eyes. Seen the monster I could become.
“I won’t let you down again,” Quentin said. “You have my word.”
I locked gazes with him, seeing only determination and sincerity. “Thank you.”
Uncle Fred cleared his throat. “Sit down and have some soup. It’s from a tin but it’s the fancy tinned stuff, and the hot buttered toast makes it even better.”
Nandi returned, dressed in her cozy flannel pajamas, and the soup party commenced.
* * *
I saton the window seat in my room waiting for Telarion to return. It was an hour before sunrise, and a week ago I’d have been in bed asleep, eager to not be aware of his return, eager not to feel him.
How things had changed in that time.
Now I couldn’t wait for him to return so I could look into his eyes, see my emotions reflected back at me, and ask him for the truth.
My quickened pulse was the only evidence of my nerves; that and the phantom need to pee.
Dammit, I just needed to get this over with.
I felt his presence like gentle fingers down my spine and the nerves melted away.
He didn’t ask me why I was still awake and sitting in the window seat. He knew I was waiting for him.
I stood and faced him. His eyes were dark, resigned pools of emerald. “Don’t ask.”
I bridged the distance between us tentatively, sensing the tension radiating through him at my approach.
I tipped my chin up, dragging my gaze from his mouth to his eyes.
His chest vibrated softly and my stomach flipped. “How long have you felt it?” My whispered words hung between us. I felt him begin to withdraw, not physically but emotionally. “Please.” I placed my palm on his chest, the place where a heart should be. It beat fast beneath my fingers. “Don’t lie to me.”
He sighed and closed his eyes. “It doesn’t matter, August, because you were right the other night. This isn’t real. It can’t be.”
“But what if it is?”
His pupils dilated, drinking me in. “My tiny, idealistic, brave little human, you have no idea how much I want this to be real. Because to feel this way makes me less of a monster. To feel…To want…” He caressed my cheek with the tips of his fingers, sending shivers down my neck. “But we are bound. Our emotions twisted and tangled are not our own and cannot be trusted.Icannot be trusted, because I don’t know who I am, and this thing I’ve become has appetites and a will of its own.” He ran his thumb across my bottom lip. “This.” He pressed down gently, forcing me to part my lips. “This.” He slid the pad of his thumb into my mouth, and I closed my lips around it without a second thought, flicking out my tongue to taste him. He growled softly and pulled his hand away. “Cannot be trusted.”
He was right. There were too many muddying factors. The fact that we were bound was only one of those; there was also my hunger for life force and sexual energy. That could heighten emotions. Make us feel…things.
The gray light of dawn kissed my cheek and threaded its fingers through Telarion’s hair.
Time was running out.
I licked my lips and dragged my palm up to cup his nape. “Then we wait. We wait until we can trust. And we see.”
His eyes narrowed. “I might find out who I am, but I will always be a monster. I will always be this.”
“I don’t care. I don’t—”
He crushed his mouth to mine, claiming my words and my breath in a kiss that was desperation and pain. He wrapped his arms around me, hauling me to his solid chest and off my feet. I sank my fingers into his hair, abandoning myself to this moment of unguarded truth. How could this tug in my heart, this twist in my belly, and this ache in my soul not be real?
