Page 28 of Insidious Monsters
“What’s happening?” Bertie asked. “Why is your face wet?”
I turned my head and pushed at the creature’s face to try and halt its ministrations. “I’m being licked.”
Bertie’s eyes went wide. “Oh, God, it’s going to eat you. Who can I call?”
I looked down at the suddenly docile creature in my arms. It was the size of a small dog with huge brown eyes flecked with hazel, a button nose, and a wide mouth with a lolling tongue. Its skin was pink and rough, but it had a collar of purple fur around its neck. Something thumped against my thigh.
Oh, God, it was wagging its tail.
My heart did a strange squeeze-pump motion. Hell no, August, you cannot go all gooey over a fucking eldritch.
It cocked its head at me, blinking sweetly, and I almost lost it. “Aw, hello, cutie.” I scratched behind its round ears and its eyes fluttered closed, tail wagging harder.
“Are you…Are youpettingit?” Bertie sounded horrified.
Ah, shit. I totally was. “It’s cute. Harmless looking.”
“It busted my oven.”
“It was probably scared. Trapped.” And now I was defending it. The cute little critter had me under its spell. “What are you doing here, buddy?” Wait, could this be the eldritch I was supposed to catch?
My question was answered a moment later when the door behind Bertie exploded open and a dark-haired man with a five-o’clock shadow burst into the kitchen. The pack on his shoulder and the hilt of a saber in his hand were clues enough as to who and what he was.
The eldritch in my arms whined and snuggled into me. Shit, the creature was trembling. My protective instincts activated.
The man paused, taking in the scene with a frown. “That’s my target,” he said. “Hand it over.”
Maybe it was his tone, or maybe it was the trembling creature in my arms, or maybe it was the fact that he had the look of an asshole about him—not the anatomically correct kinda asshole but the insulting kind—that had me holding onto my eldritch tighter.
“Are you deaf?” He canted his head. “Hand. It. Over.”
The imperious flare of the nostrils, the jerk of the chin, the slight upper lip curl. This guy was used to being in charge and getting what he wanted even if it meant trampling on others.
The eldritch whined and hid its face in my armpit.
“Hush, it’s okay.”
“Hello? I’m talking to you.” He stepped closer. “Give me the monster.”
“Monster? Have you looked at it? It’s probably a baby, and it’s frightened.”
He rolled his eyes. “Oh, God, a fucking bleeding heart. How long have you been a rift walker? No, don’t tell me, let me guess. A few weeks, couple of months maybe?”
It stung that he got that part right. “So?”
“Well, honey, when you’ve been on the job a little longer, you’ll realize that none of these fuckers are harmless, and the baby ones grow into adults with big fucking teeth.”
“Firstly, if you call me honey again, the eldritch in the room will be the least of your worries, and secondly, I’m aware of how maturation works. But that doesn’t mean you need to be rough with it. We just need to take it back through the rift gently. I’m sure all it wants to do is get back home to its mother anyway.”
He stared at me blankly for long seconds. “Wow, you really don’t have a clue, do you?”
“Excuse me?”
“That breed isn’t in our crypto guides, which means it isn’t going anywhere but to the crypto-investigation team.”
“Fine, then I’ll take it in. I’ll wait while they catalogue it, then take it back to the rift it came through.”
He blinked at me for a long beat, and some of the arrogance seemed to leave his face. “You don’t know, do you?”
